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God, Family and Wrestling.

I am so sorry for your losses, JTown. I cannot imagine what you are going through. I am glad that this forum (and our amazing squad of wrestlers) can provide you with some brief respite from the sadness and pain. Sending thoughts and prayers.
 
Johnstown, you've put a smile on my face many times with your posts and I wish, like all the others on here, that I could do the same for you. I have had to navigate through some trials over my adult life and I rely on prayer to get me by. I try not to ask for anything for myself except for the strength to make it through, the wisdom to make the right choices, and to not let my actions cause harm to any others. This is my wish for you.
 
Johnstown,

Although I’ve not had the pleasure of meeting you, we share a kindred spirit as Penn State wrestling fans. I’ve enjoyed your insight and humor In your postings, and now as you grieve the loss of your son, I offer my heartfelt condolences and prayers. Stay strong in your faith brother because only the Lord can provide you with His peace during this time of loss, and He will sustain you.
 
The past couple of weeks have been the most trying of my life. I first lost my son unexpectedly and then several days later my grandmother. Its a struggle each day but through my faith in God and love from family and friends...I soldier on. I wanted to reach out to all of you and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Evenings are difficult, my mind wanders and sadness creeps in. It's at those times when I hit the forums to keep from going crazy. It's you that has brought me some peace, even if it's just for a little while. Its you that has brought me laughter again and as always it's you that makes me feel as if I'm part of the PSU wrestling family. It may just seem like some silly little message board but it really does serve people in ways that many of us never would have imagined. I know I didn't...

I thank all of you. I truly do...

johnstownsteel

My heart is breaking for you and your family Johnstownsteel.

I'm happy to hear that this forum has brought you some peace. You have certainly brought joy to many of us. This forum really does feel like family.
 
JTS, it was a terrific pleasure meeting you and your brother in person at this year’s Lehigh dual... so you can put an name with a face to this post and know that I am keeping you and your family in my prayers. Your thread titles says it all... God, Family, and Wrestling will be great sources of strength to get you through this difficult time.
 
The past couple of weeks have been the most trying of my life. I first lost my son unexpectedly and then several days later my grandmother. Its a struggle each day but through my faith in God and love from family and friends...I soldier on. I wanted to reach out to all of you and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Evenings are difficult, my mind wanders and sadness creeps in. It's at those times when I hit the forums to keep from going crazy. It's you that has brought me some peace, even if it's just for a little while. Its you that has brought me laughter again and as always it's you that makes me feel as if I'm part of the PSU wrestling family. It may just seem like some silly little message board but it really does serve people in ways that many of us never would have imagined. I know I didn't...

I thank all of you. I truly do...

johnstownsteel
Oh my God. I am truly sorry. You have my prayers and if possible I would give you my heart for as long as you needed it.

This is not a token gesture. If there is a point you feel the need to vent or talk or whatever - you say the word I will drive to Cambria county/Johnstown and give you an ear or a shoulder.
 
I am on this forum too many times daily to read about PSU wrestling, just do not post anymore. There are so many nice and friendly people here, but you were always by far one of my favorites to read your takes on here and some other forum. Haha. You always made me laugh and put a smile on my face. Thank you.

As a father of three children, I can not even imagine the heartache you must be going through. I am very sorry for your losses Johnstownsteel, hang in there buddy. Prayers to you and your family.
 
A few years ago, my friend and a friend to many of you Kurt "KR" Russell passed following a hard fought battle with Cancer. He was one of the early BWI wrestling board posters and was all in on all things PSU wrestling.

He would often remark that during some of his worst and darkest days battling that awful disease, "the boards" gave him something to laugh at, to get his blood pressure up at, and to simply find a release from the stress of life.

JTS, like Kurt, i simply have no comprehension of your life situation. While I suffered through the burrial of my nephews infant, it was not my own, so I can not imagine with any realism your pain. That doesnt mean, i/we cant sympathize with you and attempt to help you shed some of that pain. If you need anything, from a call of support, to recommendations for help, this BWI community will be there for you.

Its weird to type, weirder to read probably, but we are here for you when needed.
 
The past couple of weeks have been the most trying of my life. I first lost my son unexpectedly and then several days later my grandmother. Its a struggle each day but through my faith in God and love from family and friends...I soldier on. I wanted to reach out to all of you and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Evenings are difficult, my mind wanders and sadness creeps in. It's at those times when I hit the forums to keep from going crazy. It's you that has brought me some peace, even if it's just for a little while. Its you that has brought me laughter again and as always it's you that makes me feel as if I'm part of the PSU wrestling family. It may just seem like some silly little message board but it really does serve people in ways that many of us never would have imagined. I know I didn't...

I thank all of you. I truly do...

johnstownsteel
JTS,
Now that you've been knocked down, it's time that you DOMINATE the wrestlebacks! Praying for you and family.
 
There is nothing I can say, no amount of my own personal grieving that can compare. You are in my thoughts and I pray for your healing.
 
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To add to dunk's post above, one of our own (a poster here), gave up every second of his time at KR's last NCAA Championship to care for the man and ensure he got to as many sessions as possible, had food to eat, etc. If was the last wish of Kurt. Knew him well too (and his edginess!), and love the man that cared for him like a brother. Point is, people step up when someone's in pain...I see it here, and I'm seeing it on HR. The pain never goes away, but with family and friend's help, the great memories come flooding back, and over time at least it becomes bearable.
 
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JTS- I am so sorry for your loss. May the grace of the Lord comfort you and your family during this difficult time.
 
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So sorry for your losses, it must be devastating but it is a temporary separation with your profession of faith in God as evidence. You will see them and be with them again. A good friend calls his body an "earth suit" and I find some comfort in that thought. It contains the real person, their spirit.

It is good that you find some comfort here on this board. The outpouring from many members is obvious, we care and are praying for you and your family. You are never alone no matter how those feelings of despair, loss, and misery come to drag you down your hope is not in what you can see but what you know. God bless you and your entire family.
 
My condolences JST, both of my sisters lost their eldest child this past year too soon, I can't pretend to understand that type of loss. Keep your faith.
 
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Can't imagine your grief and pain johnstown and may God bless you and your family in these trying times. You don't know me from adam, but in all seriousness, if there's anything I can do......A prayer will be said for you and your family, which is truly the least I can do.
 
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Hey Johnstown! I was going to get myself banned from HR in your honor, to show support. But that would not be fair to the HR readers, who’d have to read whatever trolling I came up with. So, instead, I donated $25 to Wrestling For Life in memory of your son. The “message to recipient” does not show on receipt, but I typed in: “In memory of Johnstown Steel’s Son”.

You donated $25.00 USD to Wrestling for Life
Thank you for using PayPal
Donation Details
Date: March 12, 2019 at 12:21:07 PM PDT
Transaction ID: 5ST963651W238793P
Purpose: Wrestling For Life
Donation to: Wrestling for Life
Donation from: ***@gmail.com
Donation amount: $25.00 USD

Total amount of this transaction
$25.00 USD
 
You are an amazing group of people. I generally dont show much emotion. Aside from the birth of my children, I've never really shed happy tears....You guys just had to go and do it to me didn't you?

You all have no idea how taken back my family is reading your replies. The prayers, show of support, offers of traveling to me to provide fellowship....it means more to me than you could ever imagine. I honestly hope to one day meet as many as you as possible.

Today has been my best day....its all because of you. I hope I can one day thank each and every one of you personally. If anyone ever begins to lose faith in humanity they only need to pull up this thread and read your words. Again....truly amazing.

Thank you....thank all of you for being my friend..
 
JTS, I'm also sorry for you loss. I like the word family used often in this conversation. I hope in the future, when you feel up to it, to telling your extended family a few good stories of your son.

God Bless
 
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Very sorry to hear of your loss Jtown. You have my condolences. Thoughts and prayers to you.
If you don't have tickets to Nationals, I can get you a ticket for Saturday. Both sessions. No cost. If it gives you an escape for a day, a few hours, or a few minutes, I'd be happy to do it. Just let me know.
I'm at a loss for words. I honestly dont know what to say other than Wow...and thank you so very much for the offer. Things were put in perspective. Just a few weeks ago, I was bummed about not having a ticket with the Championships being so close to me and now it all just seems so silly. I'd love to go but have decided to make it a special weekend with my youngest son and daughter. We are going to all watch it together here at the house and just enjoy each others company and our Nittany Lions!

My prayers and thoughts go out to you and yours. May god bless you and all involved in this very trying situation you are going through right now. Turning to the Lord during this time will pull you through like no one else can. What little comfort we can give you I'm sure would make those that you have lost smile. Family is what you have here I've come to learn and we are pulling for you. I have no affiliation with PSU but somehow feel close to everyone who does. I'm fortunate enough to be located near you so if you need anything please let me know. God bless.
Thank you so very much. I hope to be able to take you up on your offer very soon.
 
Hey Johnstown! I was going to get myself banned from HR in your honor, to show support. But that would not be fair to the HR readers, who’d have to read whatever trolling I came up with. So, instead, I donated $25 to Wrestling For Life in memory of your son. The “message to recipient” does not show on receipt, but I typed in: “In memory of Johnstown Steel’s Son”.

You donated $25.00 USD to Wrestling for Life
Thank you for using PayPal
Donation Details
Date: March 12, 2019 at 12:21:07 PM PDT
Transaction ID: 5ST963651W238793P
Purpose: Wrestling For Life
Donation to: Wrestling for Life
Donation from: ***@gmail.com
Donation amount: $25.00 USD

Total amount of this transaction
$25.00 USD
Thank you so very much. Again my family is touched by each and every one of you. Truly amazing...

For the future, may we know your son’s first name or full name?
Shane Edward was his name. A gentle giant that lit up the world with that smile and dimples of his. It's not suppose to work this way but he taught me more about how to love, respect and treat people than I could have ever did for him. I was truly blessed to have had him in my life.
 
Sending thoughts and prayers all the way out from Cali...I love that you’re able to find some comfort in our “BWI Board family” and I couldn’t think of a better sport, team, or fan base to help you through tough times. I couldn’t imagine going through what you’ve gone through, but it’s good to see so many reach out and offer support.

PS...cool idea to do a donation in your sons honor, I think I will follow in Dogwelder’s foot steps...thanks for sharing his name so that I can do so.
 
I'm at a loss for words. I honestly dont know what to say other than Wow...and thank you so very much for the offer. Things were put in perspective. Just a few weeks ago, I was bummed about not having a ticket with the Championships being so close to me and now it all just seems so silly. I'd love to go but have decided to make it a special weekend with my youngest son and daughter. We are going to all watch it together here at the house and just enjoy each others company and our Nittany Lions!

Thank you so very much. I hope to be able to take you up on your offer very soon.
Alright Brother. I'm glad to hear you have better plans for next Saturday surrounded by family. And I'm glad you know the wrestling family cares.
 
JTS, I know it must have been really hard to open up and share like you did, and I appreciate the opportunity to lift you and your family up to the Lord. I have been and will continue doing that along with others here. One result of you sharing is that it has been encouraging to me to see another side of posters here from many boards joining to do the same which we would not have seen otherwise. Thanks.

I like DW’s idea so….


You donated $25.00 USD to Wrestling for Life

In memory of Shane Edward

Donation Details
Date: March 13, 2019 at 3:48:46 AM PDT
Transaction ID: 2BT982936U732815L
Purpose: Wrestling for Life
Donation to: Wrestling for Life
Donation from: xxxxxx@yahoo.com
Donation amount: $25.00 USD
 
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JTS, I know it must have been really hard to open up and share like you did, and I appreciate the opportunity to lift you and your family up to the Lord. I have been and will continue doing that along with others here. One result of you sharing is that it has been encouraging to me to see another side of posters here from many boards joining to do the same which we would not have seen otherwise. Thanks.

I like DW’s idea so….


You donated $25.00 USD to Wrestling for Life

In memory of Shane Edward

Donation Details
Date: March 13, 2019 at 3:48:46 AM PDT
Transaction ID: 2BT982936U732815L
Purpose: Wrestling for Life
Donation to: Wrestling for Life
Donation from: xxxxxx@yahoo.com
Donation amount: $25.00 USD
Thank you very much. You have a big big heart
 
I intended this thread as a way of thanking you all for being an escape for me during a very painful time in my life. After giving out my Sons name, it hit me that some of you may care enough and to look into what exactly happened. The internet is a powerful tool. Anyway, I don't want anyone thinking I intentionally tried to misrepresent anything here so I'd like to say just a few more things if you'd all allow.

I first met Shane when he was 5 years old. Soon after, his mother and I married, we became one big blended family....even adding a little brother for Shane. It was during this time I promised to always love him and to be best Dad that I could possibly be to him...always. Some in society may not consider Shane my son. I may have felt the same way prior to meeting him but please make no mistake...Shane will always and forever be my boy.

Shane had different needs than those my youngest son. Hindsight tells me because of those needs, I may have even neglected my youngest son at times. I don't know, maybe I just thought at the time that Shane needed me more. Anyway, their mother and I did have marriage problems. We probably even hung on longer that we should have for the sake of our children.

We're a unique family. When we did finally decide to part, Shane asked that he remain under my care with the blessing from his mother and natural father. He said he'd be happier here, he'd feel safer. To some around us, I'm sure it seemed odd. I think even some in my own family questioned the decision but that was certainly understandable. Hell, I've even started to question myself. Was it the right decision, could I have done more,was I there enough for him. Did I do enough to try to understand depression and what it could cause a person to do?

My emotions have been everywhere. I go from happiness to sadness to anger....Yes...anger. How could he leave me like this? How could he go knowing the sound of that night would keep going through my head over and over and over again? How could he force me to have to break down his bedroom door to be with him while his little brother was just downstairs? These are the things I ask, things that make me angry, things I can't talk about to those around me yet i find myself using you all to just get it all out.

I tried to convince myself to let my mind rest for awhile. To take a break from trying to understand depression and what it is doing to people. I think it would be a mistake. I want to try to help people. I owe that to Shane. And if my story helps just one family out there then that's all I can ask for. I'm going to step away from this thread now and get back to letting the board discuss wrestling. I want to thank you all again for being a huge part of my healing process. It means more to me than you know. ...
 
I know I wrote earlier, but my heart breaks for you, and everyone who loved Shane. There is absolutely no judgement on you calling him your son. He was your son in your heart and soul, just as you were his father. I pray for you as you struggle through this incredibly hard time.
 
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