One of my fraternity brothers used to tell this one. Now he’s an eternal, losing his life during a second tour of duty in ‘06. Anyway, here goes:
Charlie was traveling for work, and decided to get a drink at a rooftop bar on top of the tallest building in town. As he ordered a cold one, he noticed another man sitting at the other end of the bar. The second man chugged his beer, slammed the glass back down onto the bar, and got up. He walked over to the edge of the rooftop and, without hesitation, jumped over.
Charlie freaked out. “Bartender, bartender! That man just jumped over the side! We need to call the police or paramedics or somebody!”
The bartender says, “Don’t worry about it. He does it all the time.”
Charlie is stunned. “What do you mean?! There’s no way anyone could survive that!”
The bartender says, “Look, he’s gonna come walking back in here in just a few minutes. Just wait.”
Sure enough, about five minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar and goes back to his original seat.
Charlie is amazed. “Didn’t I see you jump off this building a few minutes ago? You should be dead! How did you survive?”
The second man looked at him. “It’s just physics.” As Charlie looked befuddled, the second man said, “Look, but me a drink, and I’ll show you.” Charlie obliges, he consumes the beverage, and together they walk to the edge of the roof.
“Do you see that building over there? When the conditions are just right the air blows down that building, across the street, and then up this building creating enough force to keep you from splattering on to the ground.” As Charlie shakes his head in disbelief, the second man says, “Watch.” Again, he quickly jumps off the edge of the building, and Charlie watches as the closer to the ground he gets, the slower his descent becomes, until he lands safely onto the ground.
After he returns to the bar, Charlie says “That was amazing! I can’t wait to tell my friends about this!”
The second man says, “Don’t tell them about what you saw. Tell them about what you did! It’s your turn. Just go for it!”
Charlie shook his head, “Oh, I couldn’t! What if it didn’t work?”
The second man said, “Remember, it’s only physics. You’ll be fine. I’ll have a cold one waiting for you!”
Finally, Charlie agreed. “You only live once. Might as well!” He goes over to the side, gives one last look and jumps over. As he falls, he goes faster and faster until -SPLAT!- his remains stain the sidewalk below.
The second man walks back over to the bar and sits down. The bartender sets a beer down in front of him and says:
“Superman, you’re a real asshole when you drink!”
