Willie...Willie...Willie...where to begin. Let's start with the positives. Good enthusiasm. Excellent confidence. No measuring. Well rounded knowledge of cooking techniques and practices. You get high marks here, and frankly anyone without these attributes has no business in the kitchen. What does all this mean? I can work with you. Spend some time in the room and I'm sure I can level you up.
Let's talk about where we can sharpen your knives a little bit.
#1. Ingredients. You at least realize that you need a better pantry. That said, you can't even call it carbonara if you are using bacon. Guanciale is what makes carbonara. You can use pancetta if you must, but only very high quality pancetta like that from Parma Sausage on the Strip in Pittsburgh. Theirs is a worthy substitute. Bacon is smoked. It makes another dish altogether. It's like cradling someone and calling it a spladle It's still a cradle. Let's call this Willie's Bacon and Shrimp Pasta. Fantastico!
#2. There is no cream of any kind in carbonara, period. Ever. That's Alfredo Sauce.
#3. There's no onion in carbonara.
#4. There's no garlic in carbonara.
#5. In authentic Italian (and I don't mean Jersey) sauces, you can use onions or garlic. But never together. They may go together in other recipes like Osso Buco, but not in a sauce.
#6 Italian seasoning...throw that in the garbage or use it for salad dressing.
#7 I'm not sure what brand of pasta that was, but you cooked it for 14 minutes. I was developing anxiety after 12 minutes.
So carbonara is these ingredients only: Pasta, guanciale, Pecorino Romana, eggs (you're correct on the 2 yolks/1 egg part), and fresh cracked pepper. Simplicity...it is the essence of true Italian cuisine.
Willie, give me your mailing address and I'll send you a care package with all the proper ingredients. Then you make it as I instruct and post the results. It will be life changing.
Then we will tackle Amatriciana next! You can be my wing man any time!
