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So, tell me if I am being a good guy or not a good guy in this situation...

psuro

psuro

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Aug 24, 2001
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The corner table at the Skellar
...next year, I have plans to head to the British Open in England. However, prior to The Open, I am taking a side trip to Greece for a week. I booked my trips (solo) as I was not sure who was able to come on either of these trips (most people I know don't plan like I do and wait until the month before).

Anyway, one of the circle of friends indicated she wanted to go to Greece and not England - no problem. She is a teacher and sometimes money gets tight for her - when she looked at the price of a R/T ticket from Philly and/or Newark to Greece, it was prohibitively expensive for her (about $1600+).

So, I offered to book the ticket using my FF miles and she can pay me a reasonable fee - I told her i would be OK with $600-$800.

I thought I was being a good guy, but she went off on me stating that since I had so many miles, I should just book the ticket for her and she pays the administrative fees (about $100).

So, was I wrong to offer to get the ticket for her and ask for half price? I feel I was going out of my way to help since money is a bit tight for her and I even offered to let her pay me over time. However, she is adamant that she should not have to pay half the full price, even if it means not going.

Just for the record, she is just a person I know, not a personal relationship. Sorry - no pics so throw the flag.

Figure I would let the expertise of BWI tell me if I am being a good guy or not in this situation.
 
My opinion, you did more than you should to help accommodate her. Sounds like she’s got a bit of a gold-digging mentality and rather than being grateful to you for your offer, she’s expecting a lot more. For someone you’re not sleeping with or planning to sleep with, your offer is beyond generous.

Sidebar - if you wear PSU stuff at Royal St George’s, I’ll be sure not to hit ya with my cart. But be sure to have some sig pic samples available to view.
 
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psuro said:
...next year, I have plans to head to the British Open in England. However, prior to The Open, I am taking a side trip to Greece for a week. I booked my trips (solo) as I was not sure who was able to come on either of these trips (most people I know don't plan like I do and wait until the month before).

Anyway, one of the circle of friends indicated she wanted to go to Greece and not England - no problem. She is a teacher and sometimes money gets tight for her - when she looked at the price of a R/T ticket from Philly and/or Newark to Greece, it was prohibitively expensive for her (about $1600+).

So, I offered to book the ticket using my FF miles and she can pay me a reasonable fee - I told her i would be OK with $600-$800.

I thought I was being a good guy, but she went off on me stating that since I had so many miles, I should just book the ticket for her and she pays the administrative fees (about $100).

So, was I wrong to offer to get the ticket for her and ask for half price? I feel I was going out of my way to help since money is a bit tight for her and I even offered to let her pay me over time. However, she is adamant that she should not have to pay half the full price, even if it means not going.

Just for the record, she is just a person I know, not a personal relationship. Sorry - no pics so throw the flag.

Figure I would let the expertise of BWI tell me if I am being a good guy or not in this situation.
Click to expand...
How did this even happen?
 
if you have no relationship with her, I dont think you did anything wrong. OTOH after reading this, I wonder if she wants a relationship with you? or expected some sort of trip together?? IDK.
 
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CDLionFL said:
My opinion, you did more than you should to help accommodate her. Sounds like she’s got a bit of a gold-digging mentality and rather than being grateful to you for your offer, she’s expecting a lot more. For someone you’re not sleeping with or planning to sleep with, your offer is beyond generous.

Sidebar - if you wear PSU stuff at Royal St George’s, I’ll be sure not to hit ya with my cart. But be sure to have some sig pic samples available to view.
Click to expand...
Done and done!
 
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If she is anyone who has been a profile pic, then I’ll handle the negotiations and even kick in some dough. People react this way thinking miles are freebies and that you didn’t spend anything to get them. I know people who have millions of miles and people hit them up constantly to tap into them.

I guess if you enjoy the company and have no plans to use and they might expire, it might be more reasonable to throw them her way without charge.
 
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psuro said:
...next year, I have plans to head to the British Open in England. However, prior to The Open, I am taking a side trip to Greece for a week. I booked my trips (solo) as I was not sure who was able to come on either of these trips (most people I know don't plan like I do and wait until the month before).

Anyway, one of the circle of friends indicated she wanted to go to Greece and not England - no problem. She is a teacher and sometimes money gets tight for her - when she looked at the price of a R/T ticket from Philly and/or Newark to Greece, it was prohibitively expensive for her (about $1600+).

So, I offered to book the ticket using my FF miles and she can pay me a reasonable fee - I told her i would be OK with $600-$800.

I thought I was being a good guy, but she went off on me stating that since I had so many miles, I should just book the ticket for her and she pays the administrative fees (about $100).

So, was I wrong to offer to get the ticket for her and ask for half price? I feel I was going out of my way to help since money is a bit tight for her and I even offered to let her pay me over time. However, she is adamant that she should not have to pay half the full price, even if it means not going.

Just for the record, she is just a person I know, not a personal relationship. Sorry - no pics so throw the flag.

Figure I would let the expertise of BWI tell me if I am being a good guy or not in this situation.
Click to expand...

r/choosingbeggars

You did nothing wrong. It’s beyond reasonable, your offer is generous. If she can’t swing it she can’t swing it.
 
Wow is she entitled or what. Those are your points. Sort of like your money. Why does she think you should give her your money any more then you feel willing to? She should have been happy that you offered to help cut her ticket price in half. Move on. Use YOUR POINTS on you or somebody more appreciative. Case closed. However, we need some good pictures of Greece.
 
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Give an inch ... they'll take a mile. She might want to check again on flights since a fast search on Expedia found Newark to Athens (Greece, not Georgia) for just under $800 R/T on British Airways. Granted there is an 11 hour layover at Heathrow, but beggars can't be choosers. IMO you were trying to help out and she got greedy. Any time you want to help reduce my airfare costs will be appreciated by me! :)
 
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psuro said:
...next year, I have plans to head to the British Open in England. However, prior to The Open, I am taking a side trip to Greece for a week. I booked my trips (solo) as I was not sure who was able to come on either of these trips (most people I know don't plan like I do and wait until the month before).

Anyway, one of the circle of friends indicated she wanted to go to Greece and not England - no problem. She is a teacher and sometimes money gets tight for her - when she looked at the price of a R/T ticket from Philly and/or Newark to Greece, it was prohibitively expensive for her (about $1600+).

So, I offered to book the ticket using my FF miles and she can pay me a reasonable fee - I told her i would be OK with $600-$800.

I thought I was being a good guy, but she went off on me stating that since I had so many miles, I should just book the ticket for her and she pays the administrative fees (about $100).

So, was I wrong to offer to get the ticket for her and ask for half price? I feel I was going out of my way to help since money is a bit tight for her and I even offered to let her pay me over time. However, she is adamant that she should not have to pay half the full price, even if it means not going.

Just for the record, she is just a person I know, not a personal relationship. Sorry - no pics so throw the flag.

Figure I would let the expertise of BWI tell me if I am being a good guy or not in this situation.
Click to expand...
No good deed goes unpunished.
 
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psuro said:
...next year, I have plans to head to the British Open in England. However, prior to The Open, I am taking a side trip to Greece for a week. I booked my trips (solo) as I was not sure who was able to come on either of these trips (most people I know don't plan like I do and wait until the month before).

Anyway, one of the circle of friends indicated she wanted to go to Greece and not England - no problem. She is a teacher and sometimes money gets tight for her - when she looked at the price of a R/T ticket from Philly and/or Newark to Greece, it was prohibitively expensive for her (about $1600+).

So, I offered to book the ticket using my FF miles and she can pay me a reasonable fee - I told her i would be OK with $600-$800.

I thought I was being a good guy, but she went off on me stating that since I had so many miles, I should just book the ticket for her and she pays the administrative fees (about $100).

So, was I wrong to offer to get the ticket for her and ask for half price? I feel I was going out of my way to help since money is a bit tight for her and I even offered to let her pay me over time. However, she is adamant that she should not have to pay half the full price, even if it means not going.

Just for the record, she is just a person I know, not a personal relationship. Sorry - no pics so throw the flag.

Figure I would let the expertise of BWI tell me if I am being a good guy or not in this situation.
Click to expand...

what does this have to do with Penn State Football or recruiting. Make up your own mind. If you think you did the right thing so be it. I think there’s a test board for this nonsense.
 
psuro said:
...next year, I have plans to head to the British Open in England. However, prior to The Open, I am taking a side trip to Greece for a week. I booked my trips (solo) as I was not sure who was able to come on either of these trips (most people I know don't plan like I do and wait until the month before).

Anyway, one of the circle of friends indicated she wanted to go to Greece and not England - no problem. She is a teacher and sometimes money gets tight for her - when she looked at the price of a R/T ticket from Philly and/or Newark to Greece, it was prohibitively expensive for her (about $1600+).

So, I offered to book the ticket using my FF miles and she can pay me a reasonable fee - I told her i would be OK with $600-$800.

I thought I was being a good guy, but she went off on me stating that since I had so many miles, I should just book the ticket for her and she pays the administrative fees (about $100).

So, was I wrong to offer to get the ticket for her and ask for half price? I feel I was going out of my way to help since money is a bit tight for her and I even offered to let her pay me over time. However, she is adamant that she should not have to pay half the full price, even if it means not going.

Just for the record, she is just a person I know, not a personal relationship. Sorry - no pics so throw the flag.

Figure I would let the expertise of BWI tell me if I am being a good guy or not in this situation.
Click to expand...
She was probably planning on you getting lucky a few times and figured that into a discount.
 
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psuro said:
...next year, I have plans to head to the British Open in England. However, prior to The Open, I am taking a side trip to Greece for a week. I booked my trips (solo) as I was not sure who was able to come on either of these trips (most people I know don't plan like I do and wait until the month before).

Anyway, one of the circle of friends indicated she wanted to go to Greece and not England - no problem. She is a teacher and sometimes money gets tight for her - when she looked at the price of a R/T ticket from Philly and/or Newark to Greece, it was prohibitively expensive for her (about $1600+).

So, I offered to book the ticket using my FF miles and she can pay me a reasonable fee - I told her i would be OK with $600-$800.

I thought I was being a good guy, but she went off on me stating that since I had so many miles, I should just book the ticket for her and she pays the administrative fees (about $100).

So, was I wrong to offer to get the ticket for her and ask for half price? I feel I was going out of my way to help since money is a bit tight for her and I even offered to let her pay me over time. However, she is adamant that she should not have to pay half the full price, even if it means not going.

Just for the record, she is just a person I know, not a personal relationship. Sorry - no pics so throw the flag.

Figure I would let the expertise of BWI tell me if I am being a good guy or not in this situation.
Click to expand...
NTA (Not The Asshole - from amitheasshole on reddit)

It is 100% entirely up to you how you use your miles. When I use them for friends I don’t charge them but that is MY choice. For the record, however, it is a violation of every program’s rules to sell them but that’s your risk.

I would rescind the offer and advise your friend to book out of JFK instead.
 
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Piling on at this point but you don’t owe her a damn thing if there isn’t a romantic/intimate relationship. You offered to help her out when you didn’t have to; she should take it or leave it not negotiate a better deal.
 
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Your offer was more than generous and, fortunately, revealed more than the tip of the iceberg!

Based on her reaction, I think the entire week in Greece would be miserable with her having ongoing issues with the costs of hotels, food, excursions, etc.

Count yourself lucky.....go by yourself and have a great time!
 
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psuro said:
...next year, I have plans to head to the British Open in England. However, prior to The Open, I am taking a side trip to Greece for a week. I booked my trips (solo) as I was not sure who was able to come on either of these trips (most people I know don't plan like I do and wait until the month before).

Anyway, one of the circle of friends indicated she wanted to go to Greece and not England - no problem. She is a teacher and sometimes money gets tight for her - when she looked at the price of a R/T ticket from Philly and/or Newark to Greece, it was prohibitively expensive for her (about $1600+).

So, I offered to book the ticket using my FF miles and she can pay me a reasonable fee - I told her i would be OK with $600-$800.

I thought I was being a good guy, but she went off on me stating that since I had so many miles, I should just book the ticket for her and she pays the administrative fees (about $100).

So, was I wrong to offer to get the ticket for her and ask for half price? I feel I was going out of my way to help since money is a bit tight for her and I even offered to let her pay me over time. However, she is adamant that she should not have to pay half the full price, even if it means not going.

Just for the record, she is just a person I know, not a personal relationship. Sorry - no pics so throw the flag.

Figure I would let the expertise of BWI tell me if I am being a good guy or not in this situation.
Click to expand...
Bad form on her part. “If you have a lot, you should just give to me because you have a lot and I have a little” is inappropriate the absence of some promise or substantial relationship making it appropriate. Just the disparity in what you have doesn’t cut it. And to act like that and seemingly pick a fight sounds insulting.

so are you now concerned about the friendship? Should she be? Is it worth it to you to stand your ground or just give in and treat it as a data point?

Edit/PS: did you suggest buying both tix with your miles without suggesting she’d pay some discounted rate? Is it possible she had good reason to see some bait and switch? Those types of things may change the analysis.
 
All good comments. I am assuming all the responders are men.

I have not asked a woman’s perspective on this but if you think about it-ask you wife what she thinks. I would like to hear a woman’s thoughts on this. Just to see if it’s different.
 
I’d be like
source.gif
 
psuro said:
...next year, I have plans to head to the British Open in England. However, prior to The Open, I am taking a side trip to Greece for a week. I booked my trips (solo) as I was not sure who was able to come on either of these trips (most people I know don't plan like I do and wait until the month before).

Anyway, one of the circle of friends indicated she wanted to go to Greece and not England - no problem. She is a teacher and sometimes money gets tight for her - when she looked at the price of a R/T ticket from Philly and/or Newark to Greece, it was prohibitively expensive for her (about $1600+).

So, I offered to book the ticket using my FF miles and she can pay me a reasonable fee - I told her i would be OK with $600-$800.

I thought I was being a good guy, but she went off on me stating that since I had so many miles, I should just book the ticket for her and she pays the administrative fees (about $100).

So, was I wrong to offer to get the ticket for her and ask for half price? I feel I was going out of my way to help since money is a bit tight for her and I even offered to let her pay me over time. However, she is adamant that she should not have to pay half the full price, even if it means not going.

Just for the record, she is just a person I know, not a personal relationship. Sorry - no pics so throw the flag.

Figure I would let the expertise of BWI tell me if I am being a good guy or not in this situation.
Click to expand...

Her ass would be sitting at home and your circle of friends just got smaller. That’s just flat out ungrateful.
 
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psuro said:
...next year, I have plans to head to the British Open in England. However, prior to The Open, I am taking a side trip to Greece for a week. I booked my trips (solo) as I was not sure who was able to come on either of these trips (most people I know don't plan like I do and wait until the month before).

Anyway, one of the circle of friends indicated she wanted to go to Greece and not England - no problem. She is a teacher and sometimes money gets tight for her - when she looked at the price of a R/T ticket from Philly and/or Newark to Greece, it was prohibitively expensive for her (about $1600+).

So, I offered to book the ticket using my FF miles and she can pay me a reasonable fee - I told her i would be OK with $600-$800.

I thought I was being a good guy, but she went off on me stating that since I had so many miles, I should just book the ticket for her and she pays the administrative fees (about $100).

So, was I wrong to offer to get the ticket for her and ask for half price? I feel I was going out of my way to help since money is a bit tight for her and I even offered to let her pay me over time. However, she is adamant that she should not have to pay half the full price, even if it means not going.

Just for the record, she is just a person I know, not a personal relationship. Sorry - no pics so throw the flag.

Figure I would let the expertise of BWI tell me if I am being a good guy or not in this situation.
Click to expand...

You're too nice IMO. Anyone who expects to get things for free or handed to them have issues.

giphy.gif
 
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