Pitt is a pretty funny school. This will prove it!

[Jerademan74]

Some humor for the weekend. You could substitute Pitt for many other schools too (just not Penn State)

What do you say to a Pitt player dressed in a three piece suit?
Will the defendant please rise.

What do you call 20 Pitt fans laying on the lawn?
Fertilizer.

Two Pitt football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, “Look, a dead bird.”
The other looked up in the sky and said, “Where?

How do you get a former Pitt football player off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.

A man is sitting at a park bench when another man sits next to him and they engage in conversation. Shortly after, the second man says, “So, I bet you’re a Pitt fan.” The first man says enthusiastically, “Why yes I am. How did you know? My intelligence? My wit? My good looks?” The second fellow says, “No. I saw your class ring when you were picking your nose.

What does the average Pitt player get on his SAT’s?
Drool.

What is the most common phrase used by a former Pitt football player?
Would you like fries with that?

What do you call a genius sitting in the Pitt student section?
Visitor.

 

[NittPicker]

Why did Pitt Stadium have artificial turf?
So their cheerleaders couldn't graze during the game.

A Pitt football player was nearly killed in a horse riding accident. He fell out of the saddle and was nearly trampled to death. Fortunately an observant Walmart employee was able to unplug the horse.

Why doesn't Pitt have ice on their sideline during football games?
The guy with the recipe flunked out of school.

What do you get when you drive slowly through the Pitt campus?
Free football tickets.