I’m not a very open guy – in fact I hold things in way too much (It took me 18 years to properly grieve for my mother’s passing and that is where my story will start below). But I’ve found that this board is a good therapeutic outlet. I’ve read the many ups and downs of other posters and I feel like it’s kind of a fraternity (I know that isn’t a popular analogy right now but I’m sticking with it) of sorts.
So here’s my story – just need to get it off my chest and ask for a little help in the end. It’s truly is a story of ups and downs but also how some perceived “bad” things are actually good and vice versa.
I won’t go back to the beginning – just the last 10 years or so.
Lost a job, house and pretty much everything – had to restart from scratch. There have been several restarts along the way. Depression set in and manifested itself in a variety of ways. However, this is the trigger that finally allowed me (forced me) to grieve from losing my mother 18 years prior. So, in essence, that is one of the bad things that I think is a "good" thing.
There was a fire in our “rent to own” house in 2013. I posted on this site and got lots of help/advice from other posters. One poster was adamant that “I CALL HIM” on the phone and talk about what is going to happen throughout the process. Ultimately, he was right on the mark which was monumental for us in a lot of ways. (I don’t remember exactly which poster it was but if you are reading this – THANK YOU AGAIN!).
Then my father began having health issues. I do not have enough space to explain this crazy situation but he was remarried to what I could only classify as a complete nutcase (Oh, he had his issues too mind you). As it got closer to the end the games began – again not enough space to detail it here but it was absolutely crazy – two Wills, one within two weeks of his death changing everything – all for what amounted to a bunch of “not much” because he didn’t really have anything in his name.
I took over the funeral arrangements and had to force out both my brother and sister and his wife to ensure I would fulfill his wishes (which were to be buried next to my Mom). Very emotional and stressful but I think I pulled it off. When it was done my brother and a friend of ours said they think that it was the best eulogy they had ever heard anywhere. I called it, "It's not about being a good Dad, a bad Dad, or an anywhere in-between Dad - he's just MY Dad". Again, through all the commotion, it was very therapeutic to me.
However, through all of this he did have a little cottage that he, along with me and my brother built which ended up in his wife's family. Her granddaughter and husband immediately moved in and there was a little battle between my brother and them but then it happened --- exactly 31 days after my dad’s death, his wife went to bed and never woke up. I think it was suicide (too many pills) but it wasn’t classified that way. Apparently 31 days was significant to the second Will having standing. Anyway, we all went to her funeral which was awkward to say the least and the battles began. Long story short-my brother was able to salvage some tools but the wife’s granddaughter got the house (and I got the burial bills).
Not long after my Dad passed (about 6 months) my wife's Grandmother (who was 93) started having health issues. Up to this point, although a little frail physically, she totally had all her capacities - she was playing "on the floor" with our son in her NINEITES. She went into a nursing home. She was my wife's rock and this was a big blow.
Right around the same time she had to go into a nursing home my older son from a previous marriage started using heroin. He had always had issues but up to this point heroin wasn't one of them. He didn't overdoes or die - he got a headache. The headache turned out to be an abscess that formed on his brain. Now, six brain operations later her sits in a physical rehabilitation center paralyzed on the entire right side of his body just trying to re-learn basic functions. He just has his 28th birthday recently - I tell/encourage him that all he can do is try and do one more thing today that he couldn't do yesterday - and one more thing tomorrow that he couldn't do today.
Not soon after that my wife's grandmother passed never making it out of the nursing home. Right up to the end she had her wits about her. We were showing her pictures of our daughter (now a senior in high school) as she swiped through the pictures on my iPhone 6+ - that was quite a sight. My wife still grieves every day for her but I try and tell her to take solace in the fact that both of our children's (her great-grandchildren) early years were shaped by NooNoo. Most kids don't have that and both of our kids could read at a very early age, among other things, because of her. So again, in sorrow there is also solace. My wife gets emotional when I can make some side dishes like NooNoo’s at the holidays but I tell her that is how we carry them with us and I wish she would have taught us more of her recipes.
Flash forward to today (actually to yesterday). Our daughter's dreams since she was little was to go to Penn State. We started taking her to games when she was 2. Yesterday, we were able to drop her off to begin her journey as an undergrad in the College of Engineering. I know she technically isn't IN the College of Engineering yet but it says something for her to be accepted into that College as a freshman. Obviously she's very nervous as are we. But we are also excited and proud beyond belief.
Here's where the "little help" from my title comes in. Obviously due to our struggles college will be difficult financially but we'll make it happen. But I do know that her being in the Engineering Field is considered "non-traditional" for woman and if anyone knows of any connections she can reach out to for scholarships and the like it would be greatly appreciated. Over the years I've seen that this board, beyond Penn State athletics, has been a tremendous resource for the members (me included).
Thank you for allowing me to rant/vent a little. As I said I usually hold things in for way too long but when I need an outlet this board, just like everything else about Penn State, is a "Community" in the truest sense of the word!
So here’s my story – just need to get it off my chest and ask for a little help in the end. It’s truly is a story of ups and downs but also how some perceived “bad” things are actually good and vice versa.
I won’t go back to the beginning – just the last 10 years or so.
Lost a job, house and pretty much everything – had to restart from scratch. There have been several restarts along the way. Depression set in and manifested itself in a variety of ways. However, this is the trigger that finally allowed me (forced me) to grieve from losing my mother 18 years prior. So, in essence, that is one of the bad things that I think is a "good" thing.
There was a fire in our “rent to own” house in 2013. I posted on this site and got lots of help/advice from other posters. One poster was adamant that “I CALL HIM” on the phone and talk about what is going to happen throughout the process. Ultimately, he was right on the mark which was monumental for us in a lot of ways. (I don’t remember exactly which poster it was but if you are reading this – THANK YOU AGAIN!).
Then my father began having health issues. I do not have enough space to explain this crazy situation but he was remarried to what I could only classify as a complete nutcase (Oh, he had his issues too mind you). As it got closer to the end the games began – again not enough space to detail it here but it was absolutely crazy – two Wills, one within two weeks of his death changing everything – all for what amounted to a bunch of “not much” because he didn’t really have anything in his name.
I took over the funeral arrangements and had to force out both my brother and sister and his wife to ensure I would fulfill his wishes (which were to be buried next to my Mom). Very emotional and stressful but I think I pulled it off. When it was done my brother and a friend of ours said they think that it was the best eulogy they had ever heard anywhere. I called it, "It's not about being a good Dad, a bad Dad, or an anywhere in-between Dad - he's just MY Dad". Again, through all the commotion, it was very therapeutic to me.
However, through all of this he did have a little cottage that he, along with me and my brother built which ended up in his wife's family. Her granddaughter and husband immediately moved in and there was a little battle between my brother and them but then it happened --- exactly 31 days after my dad’s death, his wife went to bed and never woke up. I think it was suicide (too many pills) but it wasn’t classified that way. Apparently 31 days was significant to the second Will having standing. Anyway, we all went to her funeral which was awkward to say the least and the battles began. Long story short-my brother was able to salvage some tools but the wife’s granddaughter got the house (and I got the burial bills).
Not long after my Dad passed (about 6 months) my wife's Grandmother (who was 93) started having health issues. Up to this point, although a little frail physically, she totally had all her capacities - she was playing "on the floor" with our son in her NINEITES. She went into a nursing home. She was my wife's rock and this was a big blow.
Right around the same time she had to go into a nursing home my older son from a previous marriage started using heroin. He had always had issues but up to this point heroin wasn't one of them. He didn't overdoes or die - he got a headache. The headache turned out to be an abscess that formed on his brain. Now, six brain operations later her sits in a physical rehabilitation center paralyzed on the entire right side of his body just trying to re-learn basic functions. He just has his 28th birthday recently - I tell/encourage him that all he can do is try and do one more thing today that he couldn't do yesterday - and one more thing tomorrow that he couldn't do today.
Not soon after that my wife's grandmother passed never making it out of the nursing home. Right up to the end she had her wits about her. We were showing her pictures of our daughter (now a senior in high school) as she swiped through the pictures on my iPhone 6+ - that was quite a sight. My wife still grieves every day for her but I try and tell her to take solace in the fact that both of our children's (her great-grandchildren) early years were shaped by NooNoo. Most kids don't have that and both of our kids could read at a very early age, among other things, because of her. So again, in sorrow there is also solace. My wife gets emotional when I can make some side dishes like NooNoo’s at the holidays but I tell her that is how we carry them with us and I wish she would have taught us more of her recipes.
Flash forward to today (actually to yesterday). Our daughter's dreams since she was little was to go to Penn State. We started taking her to games when she was 2. Yesterday, we were able to drop her off to begin her journey as an undergrad in the College of Engineering. I know she technically isn't IN the College of Engineering yet but it says something for her to be accepted into that College as a freshman. Obviously she's very nervous as are we. But we are also excited and proud beyond belief.
Here's where the "little help" from my title comes in. Obviously due to our struggles college will be difficult financially but we'll make it happen. But I do know that her being in the Engineering Field is considered "non-traditional" for woman and if anyone knows of any connections she can reach out to for scholarships and the like it would be greatly appreciated. Over the years I've seen that this board, beyond Penn State athletics, has been a tremendous resource for the members (me included).
Thank you for allowing me to rant/vent a little. As I said I usually hold things in for way too long but when I need an outlet this board, just like everything else about Penn State, is a "Community" in the truest sense of the word!
