US Navy challenged In Straight of Hormuz

pawrestlersintn

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Jan 26, 2013
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Several US navy ships the were challenged by Iranian boats in the Strait of Hormuz. The Iranian boats approached within 50 yds, and the following occurred.

Several of the newest flares in use by the US military were fired over the bow of the lead Iranian boat. The flares burst into an array of colors representing the LGBTQML pride community.

Next, several transvestite sailors were sent on deck to put on on a burlesque show for the Iranians.. They were carrying muskets and other single shot weapons, because anything else would be seen as a weapon of war, And we didn't want to humiliate the Iranians, by making them pee their pants.

The CO then addressed the Iranians by PA, "This is the captain of the USS Choctaw County.. We hope that the name of our boat does not offend you, We are working on the name, but we haven't found one that doesn't offend at least someone.

Our preferred pronouns are they/them. Please use them when referring to them, And we will do likewise when referring to you. Oh God, hopefully you is acceptable to you.

Some of our sailors have expressed concern that you are invading our safe space, and we would like for you to move back at least 500 yd. They are feeling threatened, but they want you to know that it is not a racial thing. We love everyone, even if you are threatening us.

We are also masking and social distancing for covid purposes. So, even though we are all vaxxed, twice-boosted, and triple masked, we are still worried. If you board our vessel, we ask to see your vaccination cards and please mask up.

We realize that our boat is somewhat in the shape of a phallus, but your female sailors should know that it is only for streamlining purposes, and they should not feel threatened.

Now, would you all join us for a chorus of "Kumbaya?"

Iranian vessel comes within 50 yards of US ship that responds with warning flare

 

interrobang

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Aug 21, 2016
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It wouldn't have happened had the Iranians used the right pronouns when communicating with the ship.

But seriously (semi-seriously?) I'd imagine that type of stuff is pretty common
 
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Obliviax

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Gold Member
Aug 21, 2001
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I am not sure you are allowed to use the term "strait" and the "US Navy" in the same post anymore. You have to use a more sexually open terminology. Perhaps you should have said something about the "Orientation of Hormuz"
 

pawrestlersintn

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Jan 26, 2013
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I am not sure you are allowed to use the term "strait" and the "US Navy" in the same post anymore. You have to use a more sexually open terminology. Perhaps you should have said something about the "Orientation of Hormuz"
Damn it. I wish I'd have thought of that.
 

jjw165

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Jan 18, 2005
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50 yards is very close. I wonder what the rules of engagement are in that situation.
 

Hotshoe

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Gold Member
Feb 15, 2012
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Several US navy ships the were challenged by Iranian boats in the Strait of Hormuz. The Iranian boats approached within 50 yds, and the following occurred.

Several of the newest flares in use by the US military were fired over the bow of the lead Iranian boat. The flares burst into an array of colors representing the LGBTQML pride community.

Next, several transvestite sailors were sent on deck to put on on a burlesque show for the Iranians.. They were carrying muskets and other single shot weapons, because anything else would be seen as a weapon of war, And we didn't want to humiliate the Iranians, by making them pee their pants.

The CO then addressed the Iranians by PA, "This is the captain of the USS Choctaw County.. We hope that the name of our boat does not offend you, We are working on the name, but we haven't found one that doesn't offend at least someone.

Our preferred pronouns are they/them. Please use them when referring to them, And we will do likewise when referring to you. Oh God, hopefully you is acceptable to you.

Some of our sailors have expressed concern that you are invading our safe space, and we would like for you to move back at least 500 yd. They are feeling threatened, but they want you to know that it is not a racial thing. We love everyone, even if you are threatening us.

We are also masking and social distancing for covid purposes. So, even though we are all vaxxed, twice-boosted, and triple masked, we are still worried. If you board our vessel, we ask to see your vaccination cards and please mask up.

We realize that our boat is somewhat in the shape of a phallus, but your female sailors should know that it is only for streamlining purposes, and they should not feel threatened.

Now, would you all join us for a chorus of "Kumbaya?"

Iranian vessel comes within 50 yards of US ship that responds with warning flare

You absolutely suck! Lol
 

Aardvark86

Well-Known Member
Jan 23, 2018
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I thought it was pretty good. Know how I know it was? None of the board libs are on the thread.
Personally, I thought it smacked of trying a little too hard. Extended metaphor pieces rarely work on a sustained basis. But I do appreciate the effort.
 

BW Lion

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Apr 9, 2020
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Several US navy ships the were challenged by Iranian boats in the Strait of Hormuz. The Iranian boats approached within 50 yds, and the following occurred.

Several of the newest flares in use by the US military were fired over the bow of the lead Iranian boat. The flares burst into an array of colors representing the LGBTQML pride community.

Next, several transvestite sailors were sent on deck to put on on a burlesque show for the Iranians.. They were carrying muskets and other single shot weapons, because anything else would be seen as a weapon of war, And we didn't want to humiliate the Iranians, by making them pee their pants.

The CO then addressed the Iranians by PA, "This is the captain of the USS Choctaw County.. We hope that the name of our boat does not offend you, We are working on the name, but we haven't found one that doesn't offend at least someone.

Our preferred pronouns are they/them. Please use them when referring to them, And we will do likewise when referring to you. Oh God, hopefully you is acceptable to you.

Some of our sailors have expressed concern that you are invading our safe space, and we would like for you to move back at least 500 yd. They are feeling threatened, but they want you to know that it is not a racial thing. We love everyone, even if you are threatening us.

We are also masking and social distancing for covid purposes. So, even though we are all vaxxed, twice-boosted, and triple masked, we are still worried. If you board our vessel, we ask to see your vaccination cards and please mask up.

We realize that our boat is somewhat in the shape of a phallus, but your female sailors should know that it is only for streamlining purposes, and they should not feel threatened.

Now, would you all join us for a chorus of "Kumbaya?"

Iranian vessel comes within 50 yards of US ship that responds with warning flare

It's not difficult to discern that the following countries are covertly participating in probative military exercises....

* Russia
* China
* Iran
* N. Korea

It's almost as if they're collectively attempting to lure Creepy Joe into direct conflict.
 
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BUFFALO LION

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Oct 4, 2001
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50 yards is very close. I wonder what the rules of engagement are in that situation.

Well, mission accomplished for the Iranians.

Now they know they can get a crew of Religious extremists within 50 yards of our multi billion dollar tranny commanded Naval vessels, and easily blow our LGBTQ American social justice warriors off the face of the Planet.
 
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SR108

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Jan 13, 2004
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Several US navy ships the were challenged by Iranian boats in the Strait of Hormuz. The Iranian boats approached within 50 yds, and the following occurred.

Several of the newest flares in use by the US military were fired over the bow of the lead Iranian boat. The flares burst into an array of colors representing the LGBTQML pride community.

Next, several transvestite sailors were sent on deck to put on on a burlesque show for the Iranians.. They were carrying muskets and other single shot weapons, because anything else would be seen as a weapon of war, And we didn't want to humiliate the Iranians, by making them pee their pants.

The CO then addressed the Iranians by PA, "This is the captain of the USS Choctaw County.. We hope that the name of our boat does not offend you, We are working on the name, but we haven't found one that doesn't offend at least someone.

Our preferred pronouns are they/them. Please use them when referring to them, And we will do likewise when referring to you. Oh God, hopefully you is acceptable to you.

Some of our sailors have expressed concern that you are invading our safe space, and we would like for you to move back at least 500 yd. They are feeling threatened, but they want you to know that it is not a racial thing. We love everyone, even if you are threatening us.

We are also masking and social distancing for covid purposes. So, even though we are all vaxxed, twice-boosted, and triple masked, we are still worried. If you board our vessel, we ask to see your vaccination cards and please mask up.

We realize that our boat is somewhat in the shape of a phallus, but your female sailors should know that it is only for streamlining purposes, and they should not feel threatened.

Now, would you all join us for a chorus of "Kumbaya?"

Iranian vessel comes within 50 yards of US ship that responds with warning flare

Sadly not far off.