The Ten Commandments...

Aardvark86

Well-Known Member
Jan 23, 2018
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No, not the foundation of Judeo-Christian morality, which are in turn the foundation of western legal systems, which are in turn the foundation of international legal norms. I'm talking about the movie.

In the interest of a little afternoon levity, let me just say that I try not to miss its annual airing, because for my money, which in this case is nothing, it's the best damn four hours of television comedy kitsch you can find anywhere. To wit, my "Ten Commandments Top Ten" list:

1. I am always just surprised at how the Book of Exodus left out the whole Moses-Ramses-Nefertiri love triangle story. It really ties the story together and drives the narrative if you ask me.
2. Early in the movie, Pharoah goes to Goshen to investigate Ramses' claims that Heston is actually raising an army against pharoah rather than building a city like he's supposed to. So when pharoah makes the accusation, Moses pulls back a curtain, and -- voila!!!! -- there is an ENTIRE CITY behind it, as promised!!!! Now my question is, how was it possible for pharoah, presumably being transported to goshen on some sort of litter, to have completely failed to notice the enormous city on the way in to see Moses?
3. The lecherous Vincent Price.
4. Some of Heston's lines are pure gold -- blood makes poor mortar, are you a master builder or a master butcher?
5. Heston's blown out hair after he comes down from Mt. Sinai...and perhaps the worst fake beard in the history of cinema (other than perhaps the ones in O Brother Where Art Thou which were supposed to be fake) as they stand before the Jordan River.
6. Thinking to myself, 'RATFAAARTS!!!" every time I see Ramses' lead charioteer, who of course went on to play the Bishop in Caddyshack.
7. The way they ham-handedly try to convert Biblical text into onscreen dialogue, e.g., "Q--Where are we going? A--I don't know, but I hear there's milk and honey there"
8. There is a single duck, madly scrambling into the Red Sea apart from the others, when Moses parts it.
9. Nothing, and I mean nothing, says comedy like Edward G. Robinson imploring Israel to worship the golden calf.
10. So let it be written. So let it be done.

God I can't wait for The Sound of Music.
 

bourbon n blues

Well-Known Member
Nov 20, 2019
20,642
23,809
1
No, not the foundation of Judeo-Christian morality, which are in turn the foundation of western legal systems, which are in turn the foundation of international legal norms. I'm talking about the movie.

In the interest of a little afternoon levity, let me just say that I try not to miss its annual airing, because for my money, which in this case is nothing, it's the best damn four hours of television comedy kitsch you can find anywhere. To wit, my "Ten Commandments Top Ten" list:

1. I am always just surprised at how the Book of Exodus left out the whole Moses-Ramses-Nefertiri love triangle story. It really ties the story together and drives the narrative if you ask me.
2. Early in the movie, Pharoah goes to Goshen to investigate Ramses' claims that Heston is actually raising an army against pharoah rather than building a city like he's supposed to. So when pharoah makes the accusation, Moses pulls back a curtain, and -- voila!!!! -- there is an ENTIRE CITY behind it, as promised!!!! Now my question is, how was it possible for pharoah, presumably being transported to goshen on some sort of litter, to have completely failed to notice the enormous city on the way in to see Moses?
3. The lecherous Vincent Price.
4. Some of Heston's lines are pure gold -- blood makes poor mortar, are you a master builder or a master butcher?
5. Heston's blown out hair after he comes down from Mt. Sinai...and perhaps the worst fake beard in the history of cinema (other than perhaps the ones in O Brother Where Art Thou which were supposed to be fake) as they stand before the Jordan River.
6. Thinking to myself, 'RATFAAARTS!!!" every time I see Ramses' lead charioteer, who of course went on to play the Bishop in Caddyshack.
7. The way they ham-handedly try to convert Biblical text into onscreen dialogue, e.g., "Q--Where are we going? A--I don't know, but I hear there's milk and honey there"
8. There is a single duck, madly scrambling into the Red Sea apart from the others, when Moses parts it.
9. Nothing, and I mean nothing, says comedy like Edward G. Robinson imploring Israel to worship the golden calf.
10. So let it be written. So let it be done.

God I can't wait for The Sound of Music.
Yep, lolol.
 
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Jerry

Well-Known Member
May 29, 2001
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No, not the foundation of Judeo-Christian morality, which are in turn the foundation of western legal systems, which are in turn the foundation of international legal norms. I'm talking about the movie.

In the interest of a little afternoon levity, let me just say that I try not to miss its annual airing, because for my money, which in this case is nothing, it's the best damn four hours of television comedy kitsch you can find anywhere. To wit, my "Ten Commandments Top Ten" list:

1. I am always just surprised at how the Book of Exodus left out the whole Moses-Ramses-Nefertiri love triangle story. It really ties the story together and drives the narrative if you ask me.
2. Early in the movie, Pharoah goes to Goshen to investigate Ramses' claims that Heston is actually raising an army against pharoah rather than building a city like he's supposed to. So when pharoah makes the accusation, Moses pulls back a curtain, and -- voila!!!! -- there is an ENTIRE CITY behind it, as promised!!!! Now my question is, how was it possible for pharoah, presumably being transported to goshen on some sort of litter, to have completely failed to notice the enormous city on the way in to see Moses?
3. The lecherous Vincent Price.
4. Some of Heston's lines are pure gold -- blood makes poor mortar, are you a master builder or a master butcher?
5. Heston's blown out hair after he comes down from Mt. Sinai...and perhaps the worst fake beard in the history of cinema (other than perhaps the ones in O Brother Where Art Thou which were supposed to be fake) as they stand before the Jordan River.
6. Thinking to myself, 'RATFAAARTS!!!" every time I see Ramses' lead charioteer, who of course went on to play the Bishop in Caddyshack.
7. The way they ham-handedly try to convert Biblical text into onscreen dialogue, e.g., "Q--Where are we going? A--I don't know, but I hear there's milk and honey there"
8. There is a single duck, madly scrambling into the Red Sea apart from the others, when Moses parts it.
9. Nothing, and I mean nothing, says comedy like Edward G. Robinson imploring Israel to worship the golden calf.
10. So let it be written. So let it be done.

God I can't wait for The Sound of Music.

A flick for the ages. It was made long before Hollywood went full Satanist and remains a testament to the power of cinema to tell an edifying religious story.

Such stories are the mortar of a healthy culture...as opposed to the rotten stories speaking to a deep-seated sickness of cultural soul that are a dime a dozen in our time, 65 years later.

But you missed an even greater Heston/Moses quote: A city is made of brick, Pharaoh. The strong make many. The starving make few. The dead make none. That line shut Pharaoh's mouth right up.

Also, Edward G. Robinson in the role of Dathan is pure camp...an all-time side-splitter to this day.
 

junior1

Well-Known Member
May 29, 2001
5,684
5,789
1
No, not the foundation of Judeo-Christian morality, which are in turn the foundation of western legal systems, which are in turn the foundation of international legal norms. I'm talking about the movie.

In the interest of a little afternoon levity, let me just say that I try not to miss its annual airing, because for my money, which in this case is nothing, it's the best damn four hours of television comedy kitsch you can find anywhere. To wit, my "Ten Commandments Top Ten" list:

1. I am always just surprised at how the Book of Exodus left out the whole Moses-Ramses-Nefertiri love triangle story. It really ties the story together and drives the narrative if you ask me.
2. Early in the movie, Pharoah goes to Goshen to investigate Ramses' claims that Heston is actually raising an army against pharoah rather than building a city like he's supposed to. So when pharoah makes the accusation, Moses pulls back a curtain, and -- voila!!!! -- there is an ENTIRE CITY behind it, as promised!!!! Now my question is, how was it possible for pharoah, presumably being transported to goshen on some sort of litter, to have completely failed to notice the enormous city on the way in to see Moses?
3. The lecherous Vincent Price.
4. Some of Heston's lines are pure gold -- blood makes poor mortar, are you a master builder or a master butcher?
5. Heston's blown out hair after he comes down from Mt. Sinai...and perhaps the worst fake beard in the history of cinema (other than perhaps the ones in O Brother Where Art Thou which were supposed to be fake) as they stand before the Jordan River.
6. Thinking to myself, 'RATFAAARTS!!!" every time I see Ramses' lead charioteer, who of course went on to play the Bishop in Caddyshack.
7. The way they ham-handedly try to convert Biblical text into onscreen dialogue, e.g., "Q--Where are we going? A--I don't know, but I hear there's milk and honey there"
8. There is a single duck, madly scrambling into the Red Sea apart from the others, when Moses parts it.
9. Nothing, and I mean nothing, says comedy like Edward G. Robinson imploring Israel to worship the golden calf.
10. So let it be written. So let it be done.

God I can't wait for The Sound of Music.
Couldn't we have been done at 5 commandments?
 

Jerry

Well-Known Member
May 29, 2001
4,662
9,904
1
Sounds like you are one if those guys who covets they neighbors wife type and wants to drop that one.

I always found a certain redundancy between #6, Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery," and #9, Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Wife.

I guess, however, "adultery" is an act of active commission whereas "coveting" could come more under the heading of a thought crime.
 

Aardvark86

Well-Known Member
Jan 23, 2018
7,577
7,476
1
A flick for the ages. It was made long before Hollywood went full Satanist and remains a testament to the power of cinema to tell an edifying religious story.

Such stories are the mortar of a healthy culture...as opposed to the rotten stories speaking to a deep-seated sickness of cultural soul that are a dime a dozen in our time, 65 years later.

But you missed an even greater Heston/Moses quote: A city is made of brick, Pharaoh. The strong make many. The starving make few. The dead make none. That line shut Pharaoh's mouth right up.

Also, Edward G. Robinson in the role of Dathan is pure camp...an all-time side-splitter to this day.
Then of course there was Ramses’ “bathe her and bring her to me”…which I don’t think makes the broadcast cut any more.
 

m.knox

Well-Known Member
Gold Member
Aug 20, 2003
105,109
58,674
1
Then of course there was Ramses’ “bathe her and bring her to me”…which I don’t think makes the broadcast cut any more.

If you graduated in 86, you may remember General Hospital. Stavros was going to "brand" Laura right in front of Luke's eyes.....

Wonder if that's too much these days?

 

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