Stanford Goalie Katie Meyer suicide update

Obliviax

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I am not sure if anyone is following the saga of the late Katie Meyer. She committed suicide several months ago. It seemed strange as she was the starting goalie for Stanford's soccer team. She was also the team captain and an erstwhile great person and student.

As it turns out, she had just received notice of a disciplinary hearing. The details are sketchy but she apparently defended a teammate and received a six-page email outlining the hearing guidelines. Suddenly she committed suicide the day after she received that email.

As we know at PSU, at least at PSU, these things are kangaroo courts that can be devastating for the student. Often, you can't even bring legal council into the hearing. The parents believe this triggered the suicide as there were no other red flags.

Worse, being over 18, she is an adult. So the parents were not informed about this or any other aspect of her college life. The parents could not intervene when there was a problem.

So they are starting a program named "Katie Saves". The idea is that a student would sign a waiver that would allow the university to share information that has to be kept private, by law today, because an 18-year-old is an adult. As we know, the age between 18 and 22 is very challenging as kids are kids and not fully functioning adults. IMHO, a great idea.
 
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bourbon n blues

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I am not sure if anyone is following the saga of the late Katie Meyer. She committed suicide several months ago. It seemed strange as she was the starting goalie for Stanford's soccer team. She was also the team captain and an erstwhile great person and student. Suddenly she committed suicide the day after she received that email.

As it turns out, she had just received notice of a disciplinary hearing. The details are sketchy but she apparently defended a teammate and received a six-page email outlining the hearing guidelines. As we know at PSU, at least at PSU, these things are kangaroo courts that can be devastating for the student. Often, you can't even bring legal council into the hearing. The parents believe this triggered the suicide as there were no other red flags.

Worse, being over 18, she is an adult. So the parents were not informed about this or any other aspect of her college life. The parents could not intervene when there was a problem.

So they are starting a program named "Katie Saves". The idea is that a student would sign a waiver that would allow the university to share information that has to be kept private, by law today, because an 18-year-old is an adult. As we know, the age between 18 and 22 is very challenging as kids are kids and not fully functioning adults. IMHO, a great idea.
These courts should not be allowed to exist without proper representation.
 

Lion84

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The pendulum always swings to far back and forth when we try to address issues - issues with assaults and other crimes at a school and these courts with little oversight or fairness are created where before they were swept under the rug and you go from wrong to wrong - I see it so much with almost everything in our society these days. We need the 80% of the rationale people to run things not the nutty 10% on either side of the spectrum. My rant for today - I will see myself out.
 

bcspsu

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I am not sure if anyone is following the saga of the late Katie Meyer. She committed suicide several months ago. It seemed strange as she was the starting goalie for Stanford's soccer team. She was also the team captain and an erstwhile great person and student. Suddenly she committed suicide the day after she received that email.

As it turns out, she had just received notice of a disciplinary hearing. The details are sketchy but she apparently defended a teammate and received a six-page email outlining the hearing guidelines. As we know at PSU, at least at PSU, these things are kangaroo courts that can be devastating for the student. Often, you can't even bring legal council into the hearing. The parents believe this triggered the suicide as there were no other red flags.

Worse, being over 18, she is an adult. So the parents were not informed about this or any other aspect of her college life. The parents could not intervene when there was a problem.

So they are starting a program named "Katie Saves". The idea is that a student would sign a waiver that would allow the university to share information that has to be kept private, by law today, because an 18-year-old is an adult. As we know, the age between 18 and 22 is very challenging as kids are kids and not fully functioning adults. IMHO, a great idea.
I hope every day that these sick institutions eventually fail. That only will happen if people stop sending their money to them, both in the form of tuition payments and donations.
 

bourbon n blues

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The pendulum always swings to far back and forth when we try to address issues - issues with assaults and other crimes at a school and these courts with little oversight or fairness are created where before they were swept under the rug and you go from wrong to wrong - I see it so much with almost everything in our society these days. We need the 80% of the rationale people to run things not the nutty 10% on either side of the spectrum. My rant for today - I will see myself out.
That’s not how it works . Institutions want money and power. It’s not a center / right / left thing.
 
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Obliviax

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That’s not how it works . Institutions want money and power. It’s not a center / right / left thing.
yep...and it looks like we are "forgiving" about $10B in student debt. So the message to universities that convinced kids to take out big loans for underwater basket-weaving majors just got the go-ahead to do even more damage.
 

northwoods

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The pendulum always swings to far back and forth when we try to address issues - issues with assaults and other crimes at a school and these courts with little oversight or fairness are created where before they were swept under the rug and you go from wrong to wrong - I see it so much with almost everything in our society these days. We need the 80% of the rationale people to run things not the nutty 10% on either side of the spectrum. My rant for today - I will see myself out.
Please don't. You would not know it from all the attention the Republican Party gets from its shift to the far right and the Democratic Party gets from its shift to the far left, but the majority of Americans are NEITHER. Unfortunately, virtually no one in politics today speaks for or represents Moderate Republicans (can I say it --- Trump lost the election fairly and is a world class jerk), Independents, and Moderate/Conservative Democrats (can I say it --- the so called "progressives" scare a lot of people, myself included). Those who hopefully have even a little bit of common sense are no longer welcome in either American political party. Can you imagine a 2024 Presidential race with the two options being Donald Trump or Kamela Harris ( and no option C, "none of the above").
 
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northwoods

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That’s not how it works . Institutions want money and power. It’s not a center / right / left thing.
Ooops --- my like was meant for the OP, Lion 84, though in this specific situation you are probably correct. In many other situations, if the center and voters with common sense don't rise up and say "enough of this far right and far left BS" I think our nation is in very serious trouble..
 
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bourbon n blues

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Please don't. You would not know it from all the attention the Republican Party gets from its shift to the far right and the Democratic Party gets from its shift to the far left, but the majority of Americans are NEITHER. Unfortunately, virtually no one in politics today speaks for or represents Moderate Republicans (can I say it --- Trump lost the election fairly and is a world class jerk), Independents, and Moderate/Conservative Democrats (can I say it --- the so called "progressives" scare a lot of people, myself included). Those who hopefully have even a little bit of common sense are no longer welcome in either American political party. Can you imagine a 2024 Presidential race with the two options being Donald Trump or Kamela Harris ( and no option C, "none of the above").
You couldn’t be more wrong .
 
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bcspsu

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Please don't. You would not know it from all the attention the Republican Party gets from its shift to the far right and the Democratic Party gets from its shift to the far left, but the majority of Americans are NEITHER. Unfortunately, virtually no one in politics today speaks for or represents Moderate Republicans (can I say it --- Trump lost the election fairly and is a world class jerk), Independents, and Moderate/Conservative Democrats (can I say it --- the so called "progressives" scare a lot of people, myself included). Those who hopefully have even a little bit of common sense are no longer welcome in either American political party. Can you imagine a 2024 Presidential race with the two options being Donald Trump or Kamela Harris ( and no option C, "none of the above").
It would be nice if this started with the current President, who previously held almost none of the views that he currently is espousing and could've been considered to be a moderate when he was a Senator. However, he's being used like a puppet now by a faction that really has nothing to do with the Democratic party of Truman, Kennedy and even Clinton.
 
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bourbon n blues

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I met one of our new hires last month. It turns out, she worked for Stanford as an attorney handling these sexual assault "trials." She was disgusted at what the University was doing and noted the lack of any real due process.
I’ve been hearing a lot of this from the writer Marc Macyoung for a lint time now.
 

Obliviax

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I met one of our new hires last month. It turns out, she worked for Stanford as an attorney handling these sexual assault "trials." She was disgusted at what the University was doing and noted the lack of any real due process.
i really don't know how you can be a public university and then have disciplinary hearings while disallowing a kid to an attorney. That seems so far out of whack with what we once knew as the constitution. Secondly, that that university wouldn't be wide open to litigation.
 

bourbon n blues

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i really don't know how you can be a public university and then have disciplinary hearings while disallowing a kid to an attorney. That seems so far out of whack with what we once knew as the constitution. Secondly, that that university wouldn't be wide open to litigation.
This is not new, I’ve heard of it at minimum 5 years ago or earlier . Remember student loans aren’t dismissed in bankruptcy court,
You see where I’m going with this ? The left is evil and do whatever they can to achieve snd consolidate power.
 

DandyDonII

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i really don't know how you can be a public university and then have disciplinary hearings while disallowing a kid to an attorney. That seems so far out of whack with what we once knew as the constitution. Secondly, that that university wouldn't be wide open to litigation.
Stanford is not public, although I am sure it has contracts with governments entities.
 

marshall23

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I think allowing parents to be informed is a great idea. However, I followed this in the news when it was first reported. Doesn't anyone else question why a seemingly normal, happy, healthy well adjusted, 22 year old would commit suicide over a university hearing? The nature of what she was being held accountable for has never been made public. Defending a teammate doesn't sound like any sort of violation.
It is very sad under any circumstance. But, I just can't help but wonder if there were other things that contributed.
And yes....both the left and the right are evil......good lord.
 
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Obliviax

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I think allowing parents to be informed is a great idea. However, I followed this in the news when it was first reported. Doesn't anyone else question why a seemingly normal, happy, healthy well adjusted, 22 year old would commit suicide over a university hearing? The nature of what she was being held accountable for has never been made public. Defending a teammate doesn't sound like any sort of violation.
It is very sad under any circumstance. But, I just can't help but wonder if there were other things that contributed.
And yes....both the left and the right are evil......good lord.
its a great question and we need to know more about the nature of her actions that were leading to the hearing.

My second thought is that you probably have never raised a teen-aged girl (or boy, for that matter). Locally, in 2021, a young lady with everything going for her pulled over after having a fight with her boyfriend and jumped off a bridge. She had graduated from my daughter's school (two years ahead of her). My point is that emotion roles and logic take a far away back seat.

My next thought is the university. We know these events are kangaroo courts that are grossly unfair. They are something JVP fought while at PSU. While a hearing is probably fine, the kid has to have some kind of support structure. I am not familiar with Stanford's, specifically, but many have made the ordeal more grueling than it needs to be. In most cases, the kid has to appear by themselves with no support group. And since she is over 18, her parents are typically not informed because they are over 18 and have their own adult privacy rights no matter if they are still a dependent.

The family is seeking to get schools to have kids sign a waiver so that parents are informed. Secondly, to get Stanford (if not others) to adopt a fair and more open process. In that way, the kid has a support group that can help get them through a difficult time.
 
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marshall23

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its a great question and we need to know more about the nature of her actions that were leading to the hearing.

My second thought is that you probably have never raised a teen-aged girl (or boy, for that matter). Locally, in 2021, a young lady with everything going for her pulled over after having a fight with her boyfriend and jumped off a bridge. She had graduated from my daughter's school (two years ahead of her). My point is that emotion roles and logic take a far away back seat.

My next thought is the university. We know these events are kangaroo courts that are grossly unfair. They are something JVP fought while at PSU. While a hearing is probably fine, the kid has to have some kind of support structure. I am not familiar with Stanford's, specifically, but many have made the ordeal more grueling than it needs to be. In most cases, the kid has to appear by themselves with no support group. And since she is over 18, her parents are typically not informed because they are over 18 and have their own adult privacy rights no matter if they are still a dependent.

The family is seeking to get schools to have kids sign a waiver so that parents are informed. Secondly, to get Stanford (if not others) to adopt a fair and more open process. In that way, the kid has a support group that can help get them through a difficult time.
I've raised two sons and I still feel that a 22 year old otherwise normal young lady doesn't commit suicide over a university disciplinary hearing. There had to be other contributing issues.....she was not a teenager.
If you read my post, I said the idea that parents could be informed is a good idea.
 

PSU Blue

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Similar thing, but slightly different happened to a girl at RPI last year (by the way, RPI is a $hit institution (as far as research) with a $hit outgoing pig of a president). She was told by the university to seek mental health help, then after she received it, was told essentially she was too much of a risk to come back (even though she paid). She killed herself. I'm sure the law suit is pending if not ongoing.

The lack of transparency and ineptness at these universities is shocking until you see it with your own eyes.
 

Obliviax

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I've raised two sons and I still feel that a 22 year old otherwise normal young lady doesn't commit suicide over a university disciplinary hearing. There had to be other contributing issues.....she was not a teenager.
If you read my post, I said the idea that parents could be informed is a good idea.
don't get mad! Suicide is increasing like crazy, especially among young women. I raised two boys and they are a challenge. My young lady (age 17) is just one big nerve...one minute laughing and full of life and the next minute lying in bed in a catatonic state. The difference? Somebody left her "snap" "open". (didn't respond to a snapchat snap).

Regardless, just about anything can set a kid off. I agree we don't know the level of severity of the incident leading to the hearing. But these hearings can be a lot less onerous and reasonable for the student.

As a friend of mine used to say, we are in violent agreement.
 

marshall23

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don't get mad! Suicide is increasing like crazy, especially among young women. I raised two boys and they are a challenge. My young lady (age 17) is just one big nerve...one minute laughing and full of life and the next minute lying in bed in a catatonic state. The difference? Somebody left her "snap" "open". (didn't respond to a snapchat snap).

Regardless, just about anything can set a kid off. I agree we don't know the level of severity of the incident leading to the hearing. But these hearings can be a lot less onerous and reasonable for the student.

As a friend of mine used to say, we are in violent agreement.
No disagreement. I'm simply trying to add some conjecture. When a school district or a university is involved, I'm sure everyone here understands......that you will only hear one part of the story.
When a life is lost, we are folks who love to assign blame.
When I was an active coach/AD I had a player kill himself over a girlfriend (15 years old). Got suspended, went home got into his father's gun cabinet and blew his brains out.
Sometimes I wonder, if it had not been that "trigger" would it have been something else down the road?
Understand what I'm saying?
You can't go through life assuming that every negative evaluation, failing grade, denial of promotion, end of a relationship.....is going to result in someone taking their own life.
Mental health is a serious issue and we need to be on the ball in looking for signs etc.
But getting back to this specific case.....I doubt we will ever be told what the totality of the burden was that this young lady was carrying.
 

bourbon n blues

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right...I was speaking about public schools, not private. But even if you are private, you are subject to litigation.
If you allow students to use financial aid , they must comply with all federal regulations, both good and bad.
 

bourbon n blues

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don't get mad! Suicide is increasing like crazy, especially among young women. I raised two boys and they are a challenge. My young lady (age 17) is just one big nerve...one minute laughing and full of life and the next minute lying in bed in a catatonic state. The difference? Somebody left her "snap" "open". (didn't respond to a snapchat snap).

Regardless, just about anything can set a kid off. I agree we don't know the level of severity of the incident leading to the hearing. But these hearings can be a lot less onerous and reasonable for the student.

As a friend of mine used to say, we are in violent agreement.
Social media is destroying these kids and warping their brains.
 

Agoodnap

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don't get mad! Suicide is increasing like crazy, especially among young women. I raised two boys and they are a challenge. My young lady (age 17) is just one big nerve...one minute laughing and full of life and the next minute lying in bed in a catatonic state. The difference? Somebody left her "snap" "open". (didn't respond to a snapchat snap).

Regardless, just about anything can set a kid off. I agree we don't know the level of severity of the incident leading to the hearing. But these hearings can be a lot less onerous and reasonable for the student.

As a friend of mine used to say, we are in violent agreement.
You need to get her into a new environment. One of my daughers was similar and starting at 12 years old I sent her to a 4 week, all girls, seamanship camp where her only form of communication was hand written letters. There was a boys camp managed by the same organization about 2.5 miles down river toward the mouth but it took an effort for them to meet-up. They did hold several Friday night dances that were well supervised and they did have access to boats, both sail and motor boats so keeping them apart was near impossible, but the camps did a pretty good job.

She learned to forget about electronics in totality, how to write a letter, all the while gaining a serious amount of self confidence sailing in tidal waters. Further, she met people from all over the world and continues to communicate and visit with them today. In fact, several girls she considers among her best friends are from this camp.

Your daughter is too late for this camp, but there are many other opportunities. Longer is better, but if she's attending Penn State register her for the Aurora outdoor adventure. Five days and four nights without communication in the woods with a "leave no trace behind" demand. It is life changing for the participants.
 
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psrurock

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I'm going to take a different approach to this issue. A JMU student athlete recently committed suicide they canceled the rest of the season. My daughter's former soccer teammate at Northwestern University recently committed suicide. I had a conversation with the young woman at a Seniors banquet. My daughter told me I was the only one of her peers who identified an issue. It rattled me. How can these elite athletes acknowledge a struggle and not receive any professional help. In most cases coaches and others are made aware of situations, etc, nothing ever occurs to prevent future incidents. These are world class institutions and it angers me how most of these lost lives never result in concrete changes in dealing with Mental illness.
 

Op2

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Social media is destroying these kids and warping their brains.
Yes it is, especially young females. The rate of mental illness has skyrocketed in the last 10 years or so. Males and females are different, generally speaking, and social media does way more damage to females. And the regular big media doesn't help much either by constantly pushing division.
 

bvillebaron

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i really don't know how you can be a public university and then have disciplinary hearings while disallowing a kid to an attorney. That seems so far out of whack with what we once knew as the constitution. Secondly, that that university wouldn't be wide open to litigation.
That’s not how Title IX works. No right to representation and if you are a male charged with misconduct, you might as well not show up since you have no chance of winning.
 
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The Spin Meister

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Very strange story. She was being brought in front of some kangaroo disciplinary board because she defended a team mate? But that’s what team mates do. Especially captains of the team.

So what did this team mate do? Or was accused off doing? What terrible act was so heinous that a team mate was being hounded just for defending said team mate? Had to be something that many think is really bad but the captain of the team disagreed with. And bad enough that the captain committed suicide over.

Of course, the suicide could be from something totally different. If so that is also strange that it hasn’t surfaced yet. No one seems to have a clue.

My guess it had something to do with transgender movement. Using wrong pronouns. Maybe criticizing trans athletes competing as women. Something the hierarchy promotes but athletes resist.

But I have no real idea. Just so strange that so little is known about the team mate she defended. Something should have become public by now.
 
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87 Penn St8

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That’s not how Title IX works. No right to representation and if you are a male charged with misconduct, you might as well not show up since you have no chance of winning.
My son's close buddy at Dartmouth "won" twice. He suffers from some form of sleep walking and ended up in a young ladies' room across the hall. Details are unclear but there was supposedly no physical contact. After much anxiety all around (I raised a daughter too so I didn't immediately favor our friend) he got found "innocent." However, he and my son had rushed the same fraternity with likely bids until the final day of rush when someone clued my son in that his buddy was blackballed by the Presidents girlfriend who believed he was a creep. A reputation is hard to salvage on a small cause like that.

The following year during Sophomore Summer he hooked up with a friend of the girl from the 1st incident who he knew from their freshman hall. The next day she charged date rape. Longer process to eventually find him innocent again. Apparently the finding was entrapment as she was angry about him "getting away" with the 1st incident. Her social media was the evidence used against her...but again...relative social disaster.

His parents are both alums there and are done with the school. His younger brother didn't even apply.

We tried like hell to have my son learn some lessons via his friends' experience. Scary stuff. One bad night can be lifechanging...kids of all genders gotta be really, really careful out there. It ain't the 80s
 

Chickenman Testa

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I am not sure if anyone is following the saga of the late Katie Meyer. She committed suicide several months ago. It seemed strange as she was the starting goalie for Stanford's soccer team. She was also the team captain and an erstwhile great person and student.

As it turns out, she had just received notice of a disciplinary hearing. The details are sketchy but she apparently defended a teammate and received a six-page email outlining the hearing guidelines. Suddenly she committed suicide the day after she received that email.

As we know at PSU, at least at PSU, these things are kangaroo courts that can be devastating for the student. Often, you can't even bring legal council into the hearing. The parents believe this triggered the suicide as there were no other red flags.

Worse, being over 18, she is an adult. So the parents were not informed about this or any other aspect of her college life. The parents could not intervene when there was a problem.

So they are starting a program named "Katie Saves". The idea is that a student would sign a waiver that would allow the university to share information that has to be kept private, by law today, because an 18-year-old is an adult. As we know, the age between 18 and 22 is very challenging as kids are kids and not fully functioning adults. IMHO, a great idea.
You guys might like the following book. It’s written by a friend of my father’s - they both were on UPenn’s Faculty Senate and became disgusted at the kangaroo courts on that campus. The most famous event being the famous “water Buffalo” case. It’s been awhile since I read it, but it’s a good read.

 

Chickenman Testa

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Hah. Short summary - awkward Orthodox Jewish student studying in his high rise dorm - on a lower floor so as not to need the elevator during the Sabbath (I think). Black sorority pledges making tons of noise in courtyard. Awkward dude doesn’t really know clever insults and busts out with “Water Buffalo”. Guy subjected to Kafkaesque trial
 

GulfCoastLion

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Please don't. You would not know it from all the attention the Republican Party gets from its shift to the far right and the Democratic Party gets from its shift to the far left, but the majority of Americans are NEITHER. Unfortunately, virtually no one in politics today speaks for or represents Moderate Republicans (can I say it --- Trump lost the election fairly and is a world class jerk), Independents, and Moderate/Conservative Democrats (can I say it --- the so called "progressives" scare a lot of people, myself included). Those who hopefully have even a little bit of common sense are no longer welcome in either American political party. Can you imagine a 2024 Presidential race with the two options being Donald Trump or Kamela Harris ( and no option C, "none of the above").
I don’t affiliate with either party, although I’m a conservative and a constitutionalist. I have been a registered Republican for years, but no longer trust either party. I agree with much of your premise. I’m not a Donald Trump advocate either and did not vote for him in 2016, however supported most of his positions and his achievements while in office. He’s very polarizing and would prefer another candidate in 2024, perhaps Ron DeSantis, although still a long way off until 2024.
Lastly if you believe Biden/Harris won the presidential election fairly, then you haven’t done much legit research on the subject, and if you have, it’s likely all peddled but by the mainstream media, i.e. (The Big Lie propaganda).
 

WIP2001

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Yes it is, especially young females. The rate of mental illness has skyrocketed in the last 10 years or so. Males and females are different, generally speaking, and social media does way more damage to females. And the regular big media doesn't help much either by constantly pushing division.
I don’t think any young demographic is thriving. Young males are facing similar levels of anxiety, depression and despair. Maybe for different reasons.

There will soon be 2 Female college graduates for every 1 Male. When the ratio was reversed in the 70s society realized it was absurd and did everything possible to achieve a balanced slate.

Now, with young men failing on the whole, there’s no sympathy or urgency to offer support.
 

Op2

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I don’t think any young demographic is thriving. Young males are facing similar levels of anxiety, depression and despair. Maybe for different reasons.

There will soon be 2 Female college graduates for every 1 Male. When the ratio was reversed in the 70s society realized it was absurd and did everything possible to achieve a balanced slate.

Now, with young men failing on the whole, there’s no sympathy or urgency to offer support.
I think that's two separate things. Social media does more damage to young females than young males on the one hand, but OTOH we have a longstanding crisis with males in this country. The pendulum has swung so far from the days of 50 years ago when males had the advantage that it's like the old Monty Python Dennis Moore sketch. Men attending college much less then women is only one example of that.

I think there was a crisis of masculinity by about 10 years ago, which couldn't be addressed because to say society needed to help men in any way was construed as an attack on women. And then in the last 10 years we're having a crisis with women where they're going crazy, especially the young ones. Things like cancel culture, where it's the end of the world if someone says something you don't like, is the mentality of a teenage girls middle school clique. You can't run a society like that.

Hopefully, a correction in a more mature direction is coming for society all around.
 
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Obliviax

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I think that's two separate things. Social media does more damage to young females than young males on the one hand, but OTOH we have a longstanding crisis with males in this country. The pendulum has swung so far from the days of 50 years ago when males had the advantage that it's like the old Monty Python Dennis Moore sketch. Men attending college much less then women is only one example of that.

I think there was a crisis of masculinity by about 10 years ago, which couldn't be addressed because to say society needed to help men in any way was construed as an attack on women. And then in the last 10 years we're having a crisis with women where they're going crazy, especially the young ones. Things like cancel culture, where it's the end of the world if someone says something you don't like, is the mentality of a teenage girls middle school clique. You can't run a society like that.

Hopefully, a correction in a more mature direction is coming for society all around.
Agreed. But the key to life is being proud of yourself and your accomplishments no matter what. We are way TOO invested in what people think of us. This is, of course, acute when you are ~ aged 10 to 25. the issue with social media is that kids are open to bullying and hateful comments to hundreds as opposed to a dozen or so back in the old days. of course, someone is going to say you are fat, skinny, ugly, aloof or whatever. Kids are going to have to learn to role with the punches and understand that this is just the way it is.
 

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