Someone just paid me forward again...

[ImaWright]

Let me be as clear as I can be. I told you to "please stop," and to "heed my words." I also told you that CF Lion has proven to me both on this board, and in ways he didn't even know of off this board, to be quite honest.

Your response exhibited almost no evidence of your heeding my words. That's a mistake. I very rarely offer public warnings. In addition, I rarely offer second chances. You received a public warning, and now you're receiving a second chance. That's the limits of my tolerance.

If you feel the need to reply in ways that attack me or what I've told you in my role as a moderator, or in ways that attacks the board in general or specific posters, that's certainly your right, but it will be the end of your time in this community.

I hope that's clear enough for you.

Hey look guys, I’m sorry if you all feel I attempted to ruin the thread. That was not my intent. I read only a few posts of the others by the OP and to me the story and the drama didn’t add up. I didn’t think my post would elicit any response except maybe, no this has happened to me or yeah I don’t know about that either.

But I do see that people really are hypersensitive about the situation for whatever reason that I really don’t understand. So I don’t need to be right nor do I want to hurt anyone’s feelings over an opinion. So for those that this opinion triggered them, I apologize. Just know that I did not intend to make anyone so upset.

For Tom, I was just disappointed and a bit upset that I was threatened for an opinion that I still don’t know why upset anyone. I feel like all you needed to do was see that this was my first post on any of those threads, that it wasn’t disrespectful or intentionally harmful and then clue me in on why my opinion was not appropriate in your opinion.

I don’t know the other poster’s situation other than in your message that I perceived to have threatened me, you said that he had a lot of emotional things this year. Well so have some others. Both of my parents were diagnosed with cancer this year and my wife lost her father to cancer. None of us are without emotional challenges.

I respect that in hindsight it appears that you are trying to protect someone in some way that I still do not know. But I do absolutely still disagree with the threatening tone you took with me. Again, I didn’t realize my post would be upsetting and all I needed was a little more context if we can still use this word.

So I’m trying to give you my context so that you can better understand where I was coming from. I only wished that you had done that with me before threatening me. So if you want to take action, as moderator, that is your authority on this board. But as a person and a professional, I can only ask that you don’t go right to threatening posters before having a clear picture of their actions and intentions. I apologize to you if you feel I have overstepped my bounds in explaining my point of view.

 

[anon_xdc8rmuek44eq]

Hey look guys, I’m sorry if you all feel I attempted to ruin the thread. That was not my intent. I read only a few posts of the others by the OP and to me the story and the drama didn’t add up. I didn’t think my post would elicit any response except maybe, no this has happened to me or yeah I don’t know about that either.

But I do see that people really are hypersensitive about the situation for whatever reason that I really don’t understand. So I don’t need to be right nor do I want to hurt anyone’s feelings over an opinion. So for those that this opinion triggered them, I apologize. Just know that I did not intend to make anyone so upset.

For Tom, I was just disappointed and a bit upset that I was threatened for an opinion that I still don’t know why upset anyone. I feel like all you needed to do was see that this was my first post on any of those threads, that it wasn’t disrespectful or intentionally harmful and then clue me in on why my opinion was not appropriate in your opinion.

I don’t know the other poster’s situation or other than in your message that I perceived to have threatened me, you said that he had a lot of emotional things this year. Well so have some others. Both of my parents were diagnosed with cancer this year and my wife lost her father to cancer. None of us are without emotional challenges.

I respect that in hindsight it appears that you are trying to protect someone in some way that I still do not know. But I do absolutely still disagree with the threatening tone you took with me. Again, I didn’t realize my post would be upsetting and all I needed was a little more context if we can still use this word.

So I’m trying to give you my context so that you can better understand where I was coming from. I only wished that you had done that with me before threatening me. So if you want to take action, as moderator, that is your authority on this board. But as a person and a professional, I can only ask that you don’t go right to threatening posters before having a clear picture of their actions and intentions. I apologize to you if you feel I have overstepped my bounds in explaining my point of view.

You mean you were serious about the New Jersey stuff?

 

[ImaWright]

You mean you were serious about the New Jersey stuff?

Only somewhat. Being from PA and having friends in New Jersey, I have seen my share of less inspiring acts from Jersey folks. Certainly not everyone in New Jersey fits that stereotype but I'm not going to pretend that it isn't a stereotype either. That's what makes half joking about it work.

 

[CF LION]

Just got back from my little ride back from north Jersey. I'm hoping my surprise today causes my GF to pay-it-forward (to me) upon her return from the holidays.

I didn't expect to rile things up AGAIN but I do know that the mere mention of Starbucks can illicit irritational behavior in some people.

To ImaWright... all I can say is YouwasWrong. Both incidents happened. First one right here a few miles from my home in SEPA, the one today in north Jersey. Obviously I can't prove it to you.

To Lar...in the locked thread that you started you asked if race was why I perceived the giver to have less than me. He was in his late 20's, I'm in my mid-late 50's (I'm not ready to give up "mid"). He wasn't especially well dressed, but that really means nothing today. I did say in one of the posts that perhaps the guy was really well off, but appearances suggested otherwise. I do OK for myself so it seemed natural to me to think that we were in different tax brackets. I hope that answers your question and doesn't further derail things here.

Are we all cool now?

Seems like CJF signed a great class today. We should talk more about that.

 

[ImaWright]

Just got back from my little ride back from north Jersey. I'm hoping my surprise today causes my GF to pay-it-forward (to me) upon her return from the holidays.

I didn't expect to rile things up AGAIN but I do know that the mere mention of Starbucks can illicit irritational behavior in some people.

To ImaWright... all I can say is YouwasWrong. Both incidents happened. First one right here a few miles from my home in SEPA, the one today in north Jersey. Obviously I can't prove it to you.

To Lar...in the locked thread that you started you asked if race was why I perceived the giver to have less than me. He was in his late 20's, I'm in my mid-late 50's (I'm not ready to give up "mid"). He wasn't especially well dressed, but that really means nothing today. I did say in one of the posts that perhaps the guy was really well off, but appearances suggested otherwise. I do OK for myself so it seemed natural to me to think that we were in different tax brackets. I hope that answers your question and doesn't further derail things here.

Are we all cool now?

Seems like CJF signed a great class today. We should talk more about that.

CF Lion I hope you didn’t take my post the wrong way. I still am not buying it but that’s nothing personal and I’m sure you’re a good guy. I didn’t think my opinion of not believing your stories would lead to the reactions I got but if I offended you, I apologize. I call BS on stuff my friends say on occasion and I hope you take it in the same vein as they would.

 

[BobPSU92]

I'm calling BS.

So he
-has a guy purchase a meal for him,
-identifies his race for context,
-gets upset that some posters think that is not necessary context,
-publically quits the board,
-gets a PM from another poster prompting him to return immediately,
-and then the next day has another personal purchase something without providing the same context?

And all this occurs in New Jersey?

I have nothing against the poster, just don't buy the story and the drama. I'm not sure why someone makes something like this up but my experience and the "context" of publically announcing leaving the board, publically announcing his return 1/2 a day later after SOMEONE begged his reconsideration, and then having someone in NEW JERSEY (you've been there people) purchase his order randomly for 2 consecutive days, tells me not likely. I can think of a million things infinitely more probable than his purported series of events.

And you’re an asshole.

 

[WDLion]

CF Lion I hope you didn’t take my post the wrong way. I still am not buying it but that’s nothing personal and I’m sure you’re a good guy. I didn’t think my opinion of not believing your stories would lead to the reactions I got but if I offended you, I apologize. I call BS on stuff my friends say on occasion and I hope you take it in the same vein as they would.

Calling him a liar and asking him not to take it personally. Really!

 

[ImaWright]

Well, if your friends think you’re an ass, I imagine most folks would “take it in the same way that your friends would”.

Can you or Bob explain why you think I'm an ass for having that opinion? Would it have been better to just say I don't buy it but not give reasons why? I still don't get why it's such a big deal to express that opinion. But I am open to your opinions so I can understand why it was so terrible. I'm sorry if expressing that I didn't believe the stories offended you in some way. I'd love to know why it did.

 

[ImaWright]

Calling him a liar and asking him not to take it personally. Really!

OK, so is this really why people are upset? Because someone in a respectful way, without calling someone names, without attacking their person, posted that they didn't believe what someone else wrote on the internet? Is this for real? I'm pretty sure I see this in the majority of the threads on this site except people are also calling the other person things that are not appropriate and being 10x more personal about it.

 

[ImaWright]

Opinions? Fine

Stoopid crapola - and attempting to excuse the stoopid by saying “That’s my opinion, man”...... that - in MY OPINION - is hugemongously annoying

Norm, thanks for the response but I'm not really following you man. Is the stupid crap my deduction that the stories were not 100% accurate? Is the stupid crap my response to being threatened? Is the stupid crap not knowing why this thread was so hypersensitive? I honestly don't know what was interpreted to be offensive. If you can be more specific, it would help me. I really did not think my original post was out of bounds. But again, I'm sorry if you were offended for whatever reason.

 

[psuro]

And again.

Thread. Ruined.

 

[BobPSU92]

Let me be as clear as I can be. I told you to "please stop," and to "heed my words." I also told you that CF Lion has proven to me both on this board, and in ways he didn't even know of off this board, to be quite honest.

Your response exhibited almost no evidence of your heeding my words. That's a mistake. I very rarely offer public warnings. In addition, I rarely offer second chances. You received a public warning, and now you're receiving a second chance. That's the limits of my tolerance.

If you feel the need to reply in ways that attack me or what I've told you in my role as a moderator, or in ways that attacks the board in general or specific posters, that's certainly your right, but it will be the end of your time in this community.

I hope that's clear enough for you.

Tom, this guy is a jerk-off all the time. All the time.

 

[ImaWright]

Tom, this guy is a jerk-off all the time. All the time.

Bob, that is definitely not true. I have about 1.5x as many likes as posts. So most of my posts are well received. I haven't been here as long as you but it's hard to make that accusation when the evidence is primarily to the contrary.

And I haven't called you any names so I would appreciate if you extended me the same courtesy. Obviously some of you want to be upset at me for not believing some stories or for asking why that is a big deal or for simply defending myself as a few people attack me personally. OK, you and some others don't like me. That's fine. I don't think it's warranted but I can accept that this is your opinion and I am willing to move on.

I suggest that we just be adults about it and let the matter go. I have apologized to you, the OP, Tom, and everyone even with me still not knowing why you were so triggered by my original post. I’ll just accept that I won’t know why it offended you and that I attempted genuinely to apologize. I can be man enough to accept criticism that I believe is unwarranted. I extended an olive branch to all of you who my opinion apparently offended.

It’s your choice and not just you but all whom I’ve extended it to whether or not to be the bigger man and accept it. If you don’t that’s fine too. I’ll bleed blue and white and I’ll sit in the stands cheering with you either way. I’ll wish you a Merry Christmas. I’ll hold the door for you and yes, I might even buy your lunch someday. So think what you will. We all know who we choose to be. And I’m comfortable with who I am and how I represent myself. Have a good night.

 

[Gnat91]

I liked you better when you would just post shit about how morally corrupt Ohio state is.

 

[SCBlueFan]

Bob, that is definitely not true. I have about 1.5x as many likes as posts. So most of my posts are well received. I haven't been here as long as you but it's hard to make that accusation when the evidence is primarily to the contrary.

And I haven't called you any names so I would appreciate if you extended me the same courtesy. Obviously some of you want to be upset at me for not believing some stories or for asking why that is a big deal or for simply defending myself as a few people attack me personally. OK, you and some others don't like me. That's fine. I don't think it's warranted but I can accept that this is your opinion and I am willing to move on.

I suggest that we just be adults about it and let the matter go. I have apologized to you, the OP, Tom, and everyone even with me still not knowing why you were so triggered by my original post. I’ll just accept that I won’t know why it offended you and that I attempted genuinely to apologize. I can be man enough to accept criticism that I believe is unwarranted. I extended an olive branch to all of you who my opinion apparently offended.

It’s your choice and not just you but all whom I’ve extended it to whether or not to be the bigger man and accept it. If you don’t that’s fine too. I’ll bleed blue and white and I’ll sit in the stands cheering with you either way. I’ll wish you a Merry Christmas. I’ll hold the door for you and yes, I might even buy your lunch someday. So think what you will. We all know who we choose to be. And I’m comfortable with who I am and how I represent myself. Have a good night.

A wise person once said that the problem liars have is that they can’t affort to trust anyone else

 

[jschrantz]

Please lock it up

 

[PeetzPoolBoy]

Maybe you look more needy that you realize?

In CF’s defense, he recently and actually changed jobs instead of just posting related queries to this board and then just dithering.

 

[fastlax16]

To Lar...in the locked thread that you started you asked if race was why I perceived the giver to have less than me. He was in his late 20's, I'm in my mid-late 50's (I'm not ready to give up "mid"). He wasn't especially well dressed, but that really means nothing today. I did say in one of the posts that perhaps the guy was really well off, but appearances suggested otherwise. I do OK for myself so it seemed natural to me to think that we were in different tax brackets. I hope that answers your question and doesn't further derail things here.

Glad you’re back. All of that context was more important than his race. I think if you’d said all of that in the original post instead of just calling him some black dude I doubt it would have escalated. Again, welcome back.

 

[PeetzPoolBoy]

X

 

[Nittany_93]

The guy with the striped shirt has two different colored hands. This is bullshit.

Maybe he's biracial!

 

[fastlax16]

Oh, Sweet Jeebzus

man you're dense. left a few parts out.

 

[PSU Mike]

Perhaps you look like a homeless person?

Funny you say that. I dress very casual 99% of the time, and sometimes I don’t shave more than once a week. I have noticed when my predominantly gray-white beard gets longer that the rate of retail (esp food establishments) workers knowingly comping me something goes way up. I mentioned to my coworkers that they must think I’m homeless, and none of them disagree. It even happens by ones that see more regularly, so I’m thinking it may be subconscious.

 

[demlion]

Funny you say that. I dress very casual 99% of the time, and sometimes I don’t shave more than once a week. I have noticed when my predominantly gray-white beard gets longer that the rate of retail (esp food establishments) workers knowingly comping me something goes way up. I mentioned to my coworkers that they must think I’m homeless, and none of them disagree. It even happens by ones that see more regularly, so I’m thinking it may be subconscious.

The problem is NOT "race." The problem is making judgments about other people based on factors which are often not indicative of the characteristics we ascribe to them. "Young," and "black" are not entirely reliable indicators of "impoverished," or "unwilling to share with others." Aging with grizzled salt n pepper beard does not mean "vagrant," as PSU Mike demonstrates.

I think we all would agree that CF Lion, already knowing the reaction of his own son, was aware of the possibility that some here might consider his judgment about the giver to have employed a perhaps faulty stereotype. Keep in mind that he freely ADMITS he must have made a faulty judgment, because he was surprised.

People will always surprise us. The more often we make judgments about them on a faulty basis like race, the more often we will be surprised. Admitting it surprised you is not racist--it is an acknowledgement that your judgment was based on something other than what we expected.

Despite all the loony shit that has been written and said about Jerry Sandusky, is there anyone who can truthfully say that his penchant for CSA was not a surprise? A white middle aged pillar of the community. One of the Thousand Points of Light

I want to talk to that person. CF got a minor surprise in the opposite direction.