Big respect to Dylan for sharing his story. I lost a beloved brother to suicide when I was young. It’s a universal problem to which no family is immune. It’s important to talk about with your loved ones.
Powerful message from a big name in the sport
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Big respect to Dylan for sharing his story. I lost a beloved brother to suicide when I was young. It’s a universal problem to which no family is immune. It’s important to talk about with your loved ones.
Most of you know this one hits close to home for me. Selfless of Dylan to post this, couldn’t have been easy for him but I’m sure helping others means more to him than what others may think. Much respect and I will say a prayer for his wellness.
One of my good friends at PSU committed suicide shortly before spring break.
www.collegian.psu.edu
It was a complete shock -- Chad was always smiling, easy going, happy. One night he left his fiancee's apartment, stopped at his dorm, and then jumped off the Nittany Lion Inn parking garage. No fights, no alcohol or drugs, no apparent reason for it.
Hard as it was for us, it absolutely devastated his family and his fiancee. That funeral is something I hope to never experience again.
I'm glad Ness chose to work thru his issues and spare his loved ones a lifetime of pain. Hopefully by speaking up, he saves more lives.
Student found dead near parking deck
and WILLIAM GUHLA University student was pronounced dead yesterday morning near the Nittany Parking Deck after what University Police Services said was "an apparent suicide."Centre County Coroner Kerry Benninghoff said
It was a complete shock -- Chad was always smiling, easy going, happy. One night he left his fiancee's apartment, stopped at his dorm, and then jumped off the Nittany Lion Inn parking garage. No fights, no alcohol or drugs, no apparent reason for it.
Hard as it was for us, it absolutely devastated his family and his fiancee. That funeral is something I hope to never experience again.
I'm glad Ness chose to work thru his issues and spare his loved ones a lifetime of pain. Hopefully by speaking up, he saves more lives.
What a courageous move for Dylan to tell the public his story. I remember when he stepped onto the podium at the NCAA tournament for the last time, the crowd gave him a standing ovation. Knowing what we know now, that must have meant so much to him.
On a more personal note, I have been deeply affected by four suicides over the last 20 years. All of them were either wrestlers or parents of wrestlers. It’s still very painful to think about. I will leave this advice for everyone. If someone says anything about taking their own life, even if it’s in a humorous manner, TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY! You don’t want to be beating yourself up later for missing subtle clues that might have resulted in a distressed person getting the proper help.
On a more personal note, I have been deeply affected by four suicides over the last 20 years. All of them were either wrestlers or parents of wrestlers. It’s still very painful to think about. I will leave this advice for everyone. If someone says anything about taking their own life, even if it’s in a humorous manner, TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY! You don’t want to be beating yourself up later for missing subtle clues that might have resulted in a distressed person getting the proper help.
Yeah, I watched all of Tony Bourdain’s shows - even as I grew tired of his phony hipster vibe. If you listened closely, he would offhandedly, and jokingly, talk often about suicide - many times mentioning hanging specifically. The last 6 or so episodes of his final season really showed the cracks in his demeanor with his Cajun Mardi Gras episode being brutal to watch, especially given his suicide (by hanging) soon after.
Dylan Ness had a wrestling career most of us could only dream of having. Most of us had a mental state Dylan could only dream of having. Glad he is still among us, life is too precious to waste.
Sorry for your loss, Jefe.One of my good friends at PSU committed suicide shortly before spring break.
Student found dead near parking deck
and WILLIAM GUHLA University student was pronounced dead yesterday morning near the Nittany Parking Deck after what University Police Services said was "an apparent suicide."Centre County Coroner Kerry Benninghoff said
It was a complete shock -- Chad was always smiling, easy going, happy. One night he left his fiancee's apartment, stopped at his dorm, and then jumped off the Nittany Lion Inn parking garage. No fights, no alcohol or drugs, no apparent reason for it.
Hard as it was for us, it absolutely devastated his family and his fiancee. That funeral is something I hope to never experience again.
I'm glad Ness chose to work thru his issues and spare his loved ones a lifetime of pain. Hopefully by speaking up, he saves more lives.
This is so tough to read because it parallels a close friend's suicide. Every year myself and 11 other friends rent a cabin for golf/poker/fantasy football draft. Peter was the most outgoing of our group. He was athletic, successful, and confident.
I was on vacation in Vermont when I got a call from another friend in the group that he had jumped off his apartment building in NYC. Two years later and it still doesn't seem real.
Please, talk to someone if you're feeling hopeless! I will listen to any of you maniacs on here!
With my son, there was absolutely no signs he was struggling with the thoughts in his head until his first attempt at taking his own life. He had great friends, a beautiful girlfriend, a good job, had a new truck and the toys that made him happy like a boat and motorcycle. Loved to hunt and fish and overall just seemed to love life. At 24, he seemed to have it all.
After the first attempt, I would sit at night and wonder if I missed the signs....Did my own life get in the way of noticing he needed help. I was determined to try to help him any way I could from getting him counseling and psychiatrist help. I made sure to tell him I love him every chance I could, always asking him if he needed anything, someone to talk to. I encouraged him to seek God and to talk with him every day. For the next year, he seemed fine but in the back of my mind I knew he had always seemed fine so even though he told me he was, I hated that I couldn't believe him. And looking back, I now realize how he had perfected the "act" that he was well again. Through all this, I prayed to God that I could understand... that if I could just understand maybe I could help him.
I now look at mental illness from a unique perspective....from that of a parent struggling to help their son to get well again to one that had demons of his own floating around in his head ...when never in a million years did I think i would ever think to commit suicide myself. I think God may have answered my prayer....I now understand.
After my son's suicide, my life was changed and will never be the same. I think besides the flashbacks and bad dreams that may never go away of what I found that morning, my biggest struggle is guilt. Did I do enough to help him? Was I a reason he did what he did and as those out that are Christian may understand, did I do enough to lead him to Christ and be saved. That's probably what haunts me most...his salvation.
One would think I would be better equipped to give advice to parents with a child struggling with thoughts of suicide but sadly I don't think I am. I've been on both sides of it. It's taken me a long time to get well again. Realizing my other other children needed me to help them get through this was a big motivator to get my head straight again. Then another factor to my recovery came through joy... provided by my loved ones, then there's the things such as sports, this board,that served as a distraction for quite a long time. But what helped me most was finding peace and comfort again. I did that through Jesus. I'll never be the same again but I love life again when for a long time I didn't care if was alive or dead.
Thanks for again sharing your story, JTS. I do think removing the stigma of talking about these terrible things is quite helpful to the world at large. I don't think anyone ever has made sense of the suicide of loved one. But telling your story comforts those who have had similar experiences, warns those that can't imagine such tragedy in their own life, and may, just maybe, plants the seed of asking for help when one might most need to.
Everyone's first advice for those who may be contemplating suicide is to talk to someone about it...it would probably be my advice if I were to be honest. The irony in that is, I never once thought to tell others i know what I was going through especially my own loved ones. Biggest reason I guess is because I didn't want them to worry about me. I honestly think those on this board know more about what I was dealing with than my own family... In fact, I'm sure of that. As bad as this may sound, I used you guys talk about his death instead of my own family. I'm better with it now, I talk to them but they still don't understand the depths of what I was going through. I guess I kinda always wanted my family to focus on my youngest son who to this day is having problems because he was there with me that morning and saw more than a 17 year old should ever have to see. And now his anxieties and panic attacks are most likely caused by his constant worry that I'll be ok, so I do my best to not let him know what I was experiencing. And I certainly don't want him knowing I worry every minute of my life that he doesn't do what his brother did. It's a big vicious cycle that those left behind are confronted with I'm sure.
I'd also like to call attention to this part of Dylan's post, as it's pretty on the nose, and appropriate to share in this forum:
Reading this makes me think again (as I often do) about how much pressure and inappropriate attention we place on young athletes. I've known several youth wrestlers (15 and under) who have committed suicide over the past few years. The most recent was just a couple months ago. My son wrestled with or was otherwise acquainted with at least 3. The pressure to achieve, and the weight of social media and even slightly more traditional media talking about young athletes like they are commodities is atrocious. I hope everyone read Dylan's message and at least a few change their habits. Elite high school wrestlers read a lot of boards similar to this one. I hope that we all remember that when posting moving forward.
Thanks also to JTS for sharing his story. I can't imagine what he had to go through or the strength that it took to move on.
Thanks also to JTS for sharing his story. I can't imagine what he had to go through or the strength that it took to move on.
JTS, this post and entire thread leaves me gifless. God bless you and everyone that has been affected by mental illness. It is really an incredible community we have in this on-line semi-anonymous forum. We are a dysfunctional family, but circle the wagons when one or more of us is in need or hurting.
You can sum up this forum with one word..."brotherhood" (in a very non-gender based way).
God Bless everyone here!
Thank you very much. I echo your sentiments about this forum. You nailed it by summing it up by calling it a brotherhood. This board and the people here was an escape for me when I was struggling to find one. We should all try to keep in mind that people visit these boards for a million different reasons. A simple post just might be helping someone out there some how some way.. I'll say this as well, as much as I rag on HR, there are people that post over there that are some really good people...a few in particular that to this day text, pm or email me to just check up on me and have shared some of their own stories that helped me in various ways. The wrestling community is like no other.
This is powerful and should be discussed by every wrestling coach and parent with their kids
This is an incredibly powerful thread. I don’t know the words. Thank you for sharing. I am so sorry.
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