ADVERTISEMENT

OT: what is your least favorite junk phone call?

I get a ton of calls about student loans. Given I never had student loans these are double annoying.

LdN
 
I get A LOT of sales calls at work. The new tactic is to leave a message as if we already know each other and I know why they're calling. No background info. Just name, number and please return my call in a chummy sort of tone.

I ususally let them roll to VM if I don't know who it is, but occasioanlly I will answer the call. People in a certain segment of my business can be overly persistent. How many different ways can I say NO before being rude and hanging up? I've been in arguments with one particular supplier who will not stop trying to contact me. I've had our IT team block all e-mails to our company from their domain. They still call.
 
  • Like
Reactions: PSU Soupy
*Concerned tone of voice*: ‘We’ve been trying to reach you about the extended warranty for your car...’ The winner, against mighty stiff competition!

*Perky Voice* - “Hi! This is card services calling about your account!”
 
  • Like
Reactions: N&B4PSU
I was getting a call every day to warranty my 10 yo pilot. One Saturday afternoon I’m 13 beers in hanging out and fvcknut calls me. I lose it call him a mother fvcker and wish him dead, the entire time I’m screaming he’s sales pitching, never breaks stride. That piece of schit calls me EVERYDAY and hangs up. NEVER do what the rick me did. He OWNS my soul now, I am beaten.
 
I’m a fan of the calls feigning concern about my SSN being compromised and “turned off”

also a fan of being told there’s a warrant out for my arrest and if I dont pay fines the sheriff will come to arrest me

then of course there’s the call in mandarin....



however as a rule I don’t answer calls from numbers I don’t recognize. If it’s important I’ll call them back.
 
I've getting all of the above but recently hit with very authentic sounding calls advising that I qualify to have my Chase card interest rate reduced. The fact that I don't have a Chase card is a fail, but they're really convincing and I'm sure get some elderly takers.
 
  • Wow
Reactions: BrucePa
I was getting a call every day to warranty my 10 yo pilot. One Saturday afternoon I’m 13 beers in hanging out and fvcknut calls me. I lose it call him a mother fvcker and wish him dead, the entire time I’m screaming he’s sales pitching, never breaks stride. That piece of schit calls me EVERYDAY and hangs up. NEVER do what the rick me did. He OWNS my soul now, I am beaten.
LOL...when did you realize it was a Robocall?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Delco Lion
I've getting all of the above but recently hit with very authentic sounding calls advising that I qualify to have my Chase card interest rate reduced. The fact that I don't have a Chase card is a fail, but they're really convincing and I'm sure get some elderly takers.


Getting those calls, too and I am a Chase customer.....but since I’ve never not paid off my balance every month, I couldn’t care less what the interest rate is or could be.
 
  • Like
Reactions: bison13
*Concerned tone of voice*: ‘We’ve been trying to reach you about the extended warranty for your car...’ The winner, against mighty stiff competition!
I get a healthy dose of Chinese speaking voicemails. I never answer a call from an unrecognized number, so they are VM’s. I’m not Chinese so not sure how I got on that list. What I can’t believe is that these calls are not stomped out somewhere in the cellular world.
 
The fake IRS one is the best in my opinion, simply because they say "the local cops" when speaking about law enforcement coming after me. I find that hilarious.

BTW, I don't answer the phone, but sometimes the recording gets saved to my voicemail so I'll listen to it.
 
BWI: "Hi, this is Tom McAndrew from Blue White Illustrated. We just wanted to let you know you are our best and most valued poster."

Me: "I'd like to hear that from Phil. Go ahead and put him on."

BWI: "We're sorry, Phil is too busy to talk right now."

Me: "Too busy for me?!? You tell him to drop what he's doing and get his ass on the line now!"

Both lines [click]
 
Lafayette Bear: "Hello"

Spam Caller (after LB has waited for a few seconds, and is now inclined to wind up said Spam Caller): "Hello this is Julie from credit card services." Or, "Did you know your furnace ducts can transmit all kinds of nasty diseases if not cleaned regularly?" Or,"Hi, this is Joaquin. How much a month would you say you spend on gas and electricity bills (i.e., Can I sell you some solar panels?)"

Lafayette Bear (if there is a live human on the other end of the call): Just a second. I've got something cooking on the stove top ... Oh, shit! It caught on fire! Please call 911 for me! Christ, my sleeve caught on fire! (LB puts down phone and walks away to pour a cup of coffee or take a leak.)

Or, "Tell me all about your credit card/ furnace duct cleaning/solar panel offer. I've been thinking about it, and I'm really interested. " (Again, LB puts down phone and walks away to pour a cup of coffee or take a leak.)

It works for me ...
 
BWI: "Hi, this is Tom McAndrew from Blue White Illustrated. We just wanted to let you know you are our best and most valued poster."

Me: "I'd like to hear that from Phil. Go ahead and put him on."

BWI: "We're sorry, Phil is too busy to talk right now."

Me: "Too busy for me?!? You tell him to drop what he's doing and get his ass on the line now!"

Both lines [click]


Caller: “Hi ILLINOISLION, this is Tom McAndrew from BWI. I’m calling to ask you to become one of our Moderators.....

ILLINOISLION’S phone: “CLICK to a dial tone!”

ILLINOISLION to Fonzie: “Damn it, how did The GLOV’s prank call get through Fairgambit’s Worldwide Enterprise’s Landline-Landmine Anti-Junk Call product?”

Fonzie to ILLINOISLION: “All I know is that I’m BARKING FOR BARKLEY on Monday Night Football against The GLOV’s Steelers.....pardon the expression, he’ll be crying like a dog!”
 
  • Like
Reactions: 91Joe95
*Concerned tone of voice*: ‘We’ve been trying to reach you about the extended warranty for your car...’ The winner, against mighty stiff competition!

I got that all the time and then one day picked up and said I was all in for their warranty on my 2010 F150 Harley truck with 238,000 miles.
No warranty calls since
 
I have a couple of things my wife looks down on me for.

1- When I get a general solicitation, I ask the female caller if they can assist. I tell them that I’m doing a cross word puzzle and the clue is what do female telephone solicitors like to do. Four letter word that ends in k, is it talk or....

2- when I see one of those telethon things with all the people answering the phones, I call in and then wait when they show all of the people. I then proceed to blow one of those athletic whistles as loud as I can to see who reacts to it,

3- When I get a call asking for a donation to anything, I respectfully tell the caller that I give all my money to the Tempura Society which I explain to be a charity for lightly battered women.
 
Caller: “Hi ILLINOISLION, this is Tom McAndrew from BWI. I’m calling to ask you to become one of our Moderators.....

ILLINOISLION’S phone: “CLICK to a dial tone!”

ILLINOISLION to Fonzie: “Damn it, how did The GLOV’s prank call get through Fairgambit’s Worldwide Enterprise’s Landline-Landmine Anti-Junk Call product?”

Fonzie to ILLINOISLION: “All I know is that I’m BARKING FOR BARKLEY on Monday Night Football against The GLOV’s Steelers.....pardon the expression, he’ll be crying like a dog!”

I've been thinking about your moderator dilemma, and it occurred to me you haven't put me on your reference list. You should reconsider, I'm a great BS'er, but in your case I won't have to.
 
My phone doesn't ring unless the caller is in my contact list. I just have to erase a few "missed calls" now and then.
 
I like, "do you have pigs feet?"

Er - do you mean "to receive"? Yeah, i don't answer my phone.
 
Lafayette Bear: "Hello"

Spam Caller (after LB has waited for a few seconds, and is now inclined to wind up said Spam Caller): "Hello this is Julie from credit card services." Or, "Did you know your furnace ducts can transmit all kinds of nasty diseases if not cleaned regularly?" Or,"Hi, this is Joaquin. How much a month would you say you spend on gas and electricity bills (i.e., Can I sell you some solar panels?)"

Lafayette Bear (if there is a live human on the other end of the call): Just a second. I've got something cooking on the stove top ... Oh, shit! It caught on fire! Please call 911 for me! Christ, my sleeve caught on fire! (LB puts down phone and walks away to pour a cup of coffee or take a leak.)

Or, "Tell me all about your credit card/ furnace duct cleaning/solar panel offer. I've been thinking about it, and I'm really interested. " (Again, LB puts down phone and walks away to pour a cup of coffee or take a leak.)

It works for me ...
Bear if it is for a Flomax coupon stay on and take it.
 
I’m a fan of the calls feigning concern about my SSN being compromised and “turned off”

also a fan of being told there’s a warrant out for my arrest and if I dont pay fines the sheriff will come to arrest me

then of course there’s the call in mandarin....



however as a rule I don’t answer calls from numbers I don’t recognize. If it’s important I’ll call them back.

Getting all of those as well.

Also getting a recorded message asking if I wanted to talk to the special agent I should press one. I decided to play along one time, hit one and asked what their badge number was and they hung up. After another couple of calls from them I decided to play again, hit one again, when a live voice came on I asked what their badge number was, they replied F-U-C-K you and they hung up.
 
  • Like
Reactions: N&B4PSU
After I was divorced back 15 years ago I’d get a lot of creditor calls. I kept an air horn and earplugs near the phone. When they called I’d ask them to hold on for a sec, put in my ear plugs, then blast em. Good times
 
The only problem with retaliating is that they often will retaliate in kind by adding your number to other lists. I just hang up.

But my favorite line I've heard was when someone got one of those "we need to clean your Windows" and the person replied "Do you use ammonia or soap?" I have been tempted to try speaking in a foreign language (I speak German pretty well). One time, may years ago, I was with my German penpal in Philly and she was accosted by a panhandler. Worked perfectly....
 
  • Like
Reactions: N&B4PSU
Odd one a couple of months ago. Like many, I don't answer calls from numbers I don't recognize. One goes to voicemail and it's a nun trying to reach some woman. Figure she'll realize it's a wrong number and that will be the end of it. But she calls again and again. I'm inclined to pick up and tell her she has the wrong number, but my wife says it's spam and she's just trying to engage. Finally, I pick up, tell her she has the wrong number, five or six times before she gets it.

Weeks later, another unrecognized call, different number, goes to voicemail. It's the same voice, this time trying to find someone else. This time, she gave up after the second try.
 
We have a landline number we use for just about all purchases etc. That thing lights up like a christmas tree all day (we keep it tucked away so as to not be visually annoying). The voicemail is filled (for years) so they're doubly screwed.

All calls to iphone that are not recognized go to VM and I block everything that doesn't leave a message. A few slip through, but so far so good.

Used to get a lot of the calls I'm reading about above and the comments here are a good afternoon's read. :)
 
ADVERTISEMENT