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OT: Stupid things you have said on dates.

This reminds me of when my wife and I were on a double date with another married couple... My buddy and I were sitting across from each other talking and the two girls were having their own conversation. My buddy's wife say loudly and with much excitement that she "just had her first facial last week". My buddy and I both heard her say it and could hardly keep from laughing... I don't know whether or not the girls noticed our reaction, because I was trying my best not to make eye contact for fear of completely losing it.
She was lying...:cool:
 
It wasn't a date but, this was back as an undergrad at Penn State. I walked up to a cute co ed in the Saloon that I knew I didn't really have much of a shot with. I asked her to dance, was shot down and said 'Thats ok, I have to go take a sh!t anyway'.
 
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as many of you know, I am a huge movie buff

so at some point at PSU I took a date to see . . . The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover

I begged for forgiveness and a second date, saying it was a great film but NOT a date movie

I assured her the next film was a classic, must see film:

A Clockwork Orange

LOL

yeah no third date with her . . .
laugh.r191677.gif
Both highly rated on rotten tomatoes. Obviously, the second is a classic but probably not the best mood choice for a first date. Hadn’t heard of the first, but NC-17? You've got stones.
 
I was at a bar with a girl and her friends.

Her friend: “I lost 5 pounds.”
Me: “I found it, it’s here in your ass.” (I was trying to be funny)

A group cold shoulder is really cold. I ended up leaving. Moral of the story- not everything that’s funny in your head will appeal to your audience.

I always tell my son, his friends, any young kid who is willing to listen: The most trouble I ever got into in life was trying to be funny.

Mrs. Bell and I were already married a short time but my parents were coming to visit for a weekend many years ago. My wife (who keeps a very clean and tidy place to begin with) went nuts scurrying around dusting and sweeping and cleaning anything in the place to within an inch of its life. I said it's fine, trust me, everything is spotless. Still she scoured and wiped and swept and vacuumed and on and on. Visit came and went and they were leaving and as they got in their car I said "Hey, stop again. Don't be strangers, I know at least when you're coming the place will get cleaned."

Brilliant, brilliant "joke." (Which it truly was, I saw the place as always clean). She was looking daggers through me for days. No sugar tonight. Good job, Vic. Comedy is not pretty.
 
...not a date but...

So, my junior year, I used to see this beautiful brown eyed brunette in the HUB every Tuesday and Thursday. We would make eye contact, smile, and I never got up enough nerve to ask her out, or even talk to her. After a while I am pretty sure she was annoyed I never even made any move.

I would see her around campus a few times, but again - I did not get up enough confidence to say hello.

Lost track of her (assume she graduated and moved on)....all I knew about her was that she was from the Philly area (MontCo, I think).

Anyway, fast forward a few years, and I am flying to from Philly to Miami for the PSU-Miami game (the one where Tony Sacca got tired).....I get off the plane and head downstairs to baggage, where a friend of mine is picking me up. I go down the escalators and there she is....looking just as good as she did in my junior year....she sees me, and I see her, and by this time, I am a little more confident of myself....so I walk up to her:

Me: Hey, don't I know you from someplace?
Her: Penn State. The Hub.
Me: So, are you in town for the Miami game?

She looks to a guy taking bags off the carousel...

Her: No, I am going on a cruise. On my honeymoon.

She looks again at the guy taking bags off the carousel.....

Her (softly): You had your chance.


If someone would have cut my arm off right there, it would not have hurt as much.

I see Tony Sacca every now and then, and every time I do, I invariably think of the brown eyed girl that got away, on the weekend of the game where he got tired...
 
Not a date, but back in the fall I jumped into the dating game for the first time since my college days. So I was at a bar with two friends, a married couple that I've known for a long time. They just wanted to go out for a beer and to see how I was doing. We have three seats at a very popular bar in the area that was very crowded this particular night. A group of young ladies, probably in their mid-30's was standing directly behind us. As they ordered drinks (a few times) I assisted the bartender and handed the drinks to them (the bar was shoulder to shoulder). As we get ready to leave, I offered my seat to one of the ladies behind us, to which she said "Thanks for the seat but I wish you were staying". I guess I was a bit flustered and shocked to hear that from someone 20 years younger than me, so I said something like "well, they are my ride".

Stupid.
 
...not a date but...

So, my junior year, I used to see this beautiful brown eyed brunette in the HUB every Tuesday and Thursday. We would make eye contact, smile, and I never got up enough nerve to ask her out, or even talk to her. After a while I am pretty sure she was annoyed I never even made any move.

I would see her around campus a few times, but again - I did not get up enough confidence to say hello.

Lost track of her (assume she graduated and moved on)....all I knew about her was that she was from the Philly area (MontCo, I think).

Anyway, fast forward a few years, and I am flying to from Philly to Miami for the PSU-Miami game (the one where Tony Sacca got tired).....I get off the plane and head downstairs to baggage, where a friend of mine is picking me up. I go down the escalators and there she is....looking just as good as she did in my junior year....she sees me, and I see her, and by this time, I am a little more confident of myself....so I walk up to her:

Me: Hey, don't I know you from someplace?
Her: Penn State. The Hub.
Me: So, are you in town for the Miami game?

She looks to a guy taking bags off the carousel...

Her: No, I am going on a cruise. On my honeymoon.

She looks again at the guy taking bags off the carousel.....

Her (softly): You had your chance.


If someone would have cut my arm off right there, it would not have hurt as much.

I see Tony Sacca every now and then, and every time I do, I invariably think of the brown eyed girl that got away, on the weekend of the game where he got tired...
I think you've told that story before!! But it is always good to hear again!! And to know I am not the only one that has Fk^p in romance!
 
...not a date but...

So, my junior year, I used to see this beautiful brown eyed brunette in the HUB every Tuesday and Thursday. We would make eye contact, smile, and I never got up enough nerve to ask her out, or even talk to her. After a while I am pretty sure she was annoyed I never even made any move.

I would see her around campus a few times, but again - I did not get up enough confidence to say hello.

Lost track of her (assume she graduated and moved on)....all I knew about her was that she was from the Philly area (MontCo, I think).

Anyway, fast forward a few years, and I am flying to from Philly to Miami for the PSU-Miami game (the one where Tony Sacca got tired).....I get off the plane and head downstairs to baggage, where a friend of mine is picking me up. I go down the escalators and there she is....looking just as good as she did in my junior year....she sees me, and I see her, and by this time, I am a little more confident of myself....so I walk up to her:

Me: Hey, don't I know you from someplace?
Her: Penn State. The Hub.
Me: So, are you in town for the Miami game?

She looks to a guy taking bags off the carousel...

Her: No, I am going on a cruise. On my honeymoon.

She looks again at the guy taking bags off the carousel.....

Her (softly): You had your chance.


If someone would have cut my arm off right there, it would not have hurt as much.

I see Tony Sacca every now and then, and every time I do, I invariably think of the brown eyed girl that got away, on the weekend of the game where he got tired...
Oh man.
 
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...not a date but...

So, my junior year, I used to see this beautiful brown eyed brunette in the HUB every Tuesday and Thursday. We would make eye contact, smile, and I never got up enough nerve to ask her out, or even talk to her. After a while I am pretty sure she was annoyed I never even made any move.

I would see her around campus a few times, but again - I did not get up enough confidence to say hello.

Lost track of her (assume she graduated and moved on)....all I knew about her was that she was from the Philly area (MontCo, I think).

Anyway, fast forward a few years, and I am flying to from Philly to Miami for the PSU-Miami game (the one where Tony Sacca got tired).....I get off the plane and head downstairs to baggage, where a friend of mine is picking me up. I go down the escalators and there she is....looking just as good as she did in my junior year....she sees me, and I see her, and by this time, I am a little more confident of myself....so I walk up to her:

Me: Hey, don't I know you from someplace?
Her: Penn State. The Hub.
Me: So, are you in town for the Miami game?

She looks to a guy taking bags off the carousel...

Her: No, I am going on a cruise. On my honeymoon.

She looks again at the guy taking bags off the carousel.....

Her (softly): You had your chance.


If someone would have cut my arm off right there, it would not have hurt as much.

I see Tony Sacca every now and then, and every time I do, I invariably think of the brown eyed girl that got away, on the weekend of the game where he got tired...
look her up on facebook...find out how the honeymoon went.
 
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"The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, and her Lover" has a nude Helen Mirren and cannibalism.
My wife loves Helen Mirren. Nevertheless, an NC-17 version of nude Helen Mirren plus cannibalism would def not appear to be as safe as Sleepless in Seattle.
 
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Not a date story, but still something that embarrassed me.

I went to Marshall, and the big dorms on campus were the Twin Towers. Each had 15 floors, with the West tower for women and the East tower for men. Both towers had three elevators. In the East tower, at least one of the elevators would be down abut 80% of the time, while two would be down about 20% of the time. This was when two of the elevators were down.

When two weren't working, a lot of the kids would get on as it was going up, because they knew it would be to full on the way down. I lived on the thirteenth floor, so I knew I would be lucky if there was any room by the time it got to my floor. I got lucky and was able to make it on. We then went down to the twelfth floor where the doors opened and no one got on. It happened again on the eleventh floor. The doors opened on the tenth floor and a couple kids got on. We stopped on the ninth with nobody getting on. You see where this is going.

As we stop at every floor with no one getting on (for the most part), I see myself getting later and later for class. We stop at the fourth and no one. Third, no one. The doors open on the second floor, and out of my frustration, I yell “Who the hell can’t walk down one flight of stairs!?!”

.
.
.
.
Then a guy comes around the corner in his wheelchair.

The only good part was later in the day in my speech class, someone was telling the story not realizing I was the culprit.
 
Not a date story, but still something that embarrassed me.

I went to Marshall, and the big dorms on campus were the Twin Towers. Each had 15 floors, with the West tower for women and the East tower for men. Both towers had three elevators. In the East tower, at least one of the elevators would be down abut 80% of the time, while two would be down about 20% of the time. This was when two of the elevators were down.

When two weren't working, a lot of the kids would get on as it was going up, because they knew it would be to full on the way down. I lived on the thirteenth floor, so I knew I would be lucky if there was any room by the time it got to my floor. I got lucky and was able to make it on. We then went down to the twelfth floor where the doors opened and no one got on. It happened again on the eleventh floor. The doors opened on the tenth floor and a couple kids got on. We stopped on the ninth with nobody getting on. You see where this is going.

As we stop at every floor with no one getting on (for the most part), I see myself getting later and later for class. We stop at the fourth and no one. Third, no one. The doors open on the second floor, and out of my frustration, I yell “Who the hell can’t walk down one flight of stairs!?!”

.
.
.
.
Then a guy comes around the corner in his wheelchair.

The only good part was later in the day in my speech class, someone was telling the story not realizing I was the culprit.
ha...had a situation where a friend was holding the elevator and yelled to me "are you coming?" As I run around the corner, I yell back "no I am just breathing hard" to look a 10 and 12 year old girl in the elevator with their 18 year old brother, mother and dad visiting the school.

Later that night, I have to give another family a tour (I was an RA and was on duty that night). I go to the front door and let them in, two elevators are there. We walk up, the first one is fine, the second elevator is not. Apparently, some kind drank too much and passed out while going to the first floor. The door opened, he fell back and his head was in the door track. The doors kept opening and closing on his head. I had to call an ambulance. The family waited for the ambulance to get their and I took them on their tour.
 
...not a date but...

So, my junior year, I used to see this beautiful brown eyed brunette in the HUB every Tuesday and Thursday. We would make eye contact, smile, and I never got up enough nerve to ask her out, or even talk to her. After a while I am pretty sure she was annoyed I never even made any move.

I would see her around campus a few times, but again - I did not get up enough confidence to say hello.

Lost track of her (assume she graduated and moved on)....all I knew about her was that she was from the Philly area (MontCo, I think).

Anyway, fast forward a few years, and I am flying to from Philly to Miami for the PSU-Miami game (the one where Tony Sacca got tired).....I get off the plane and head downstairs to baggage, where a friend of mine is picking me up. I go down the escalators and there she is....looking just as good as she did in my junior year....she sees me, and I see her, and by this time, I am a little more confident of myself....so I walk up to her:

Me: Hey, don't I know you from someplace?
Her: Penn State. The Hub.
Me: So, are you in town for the Miami game?

She looks to a guy taking bags off the carousel...

Her: No, I am going on a cruise. On my honeymoon.

She looks again at the guy taking bags off the carousel.....

Her (softly): You had your chance.


If someone would have cut my arm off right there, it would not have hurt as much.

I see Tony Sacca every now and then, and every time I do, I invariably think of the brown eyed girl that got away, on the weekend of the game where he got tired...

Did I ever tell you guys the story about how I was on a weekend long bus trip from Harrisburg PA to Greek Peak NY for skiing? I was with two older couples and an older single guy (I'm 25 and they are 40 to 50). There were four au pairs who were literally sharing the room directly across the hall from my hotel room. Anyway, I never asked one of them to dance, never got up and sat with them at their table, never knocked on their hotel room door with bottles of champagne and baby oil, never even sat beside or chatted them up on the bus. Did I tell you that one of them actually pinched my butt while in line for a drink? Myself and the four of them were the only single, under 30 people there on the trip and I couldn't work up the courage to speak to one of them... not that I have visions of taking them all to bed and becoming some kind of folk hero for my exploits, but the least I could have done was struck out swinging!

When I got back home, this ate at me to the point where I couldn't stand it anymore. I called the county parks dept. that organized the trip and made up a story about loaning one of them a hat. My god, I can only imagine what would happen to a civil servant that did this today, but the woman actually gave me one of their phone numbers. I kept that phone number neatly folded in my wallet, waiting for me to summon the courage to call... never happened though.

Then, about a year later, I see a couple of them in a club/bar in Hershey (Spanky's). After buying as many drinks as I can afford, I manage to approach them through the mob of male suitors and mumble something about skiing or Ithaca NY, but either they don't remember me or aren't interested. I choose to believe the latter, which validates my never speaking to them in the first place. It's what allows me to sleep at night.
 
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...not a date but...

So, my junior year, I used to see this beautiful brown eyed brunette in the HUB every Tuesday and Thursday. We would make eye contact, smile, and I never got up enough nerve to ask her out, or even talk to her. After a while I am pretty sure she was annoyed I never even made any move.

I would see her around campus a few times, but again - I did not get up enough confidence to say hello.

Lost track of her (assume she graduated and moved on)....all I knew about her was that she was from the Philly area (MontCo, I think).

Anyway, fast forward a few years, and I am flying to from Philly to Miami for the PSU-Miami game (the one where Tony Sacca got tired).....I get off the plane and head downstairs to baggage, where a friend of mine is picking me up. I go down the escalators and there she is....looking just as good as she did in my junior year....she sees me, and I see her, and by this time, I am a little more confident of myself....so I walk up to her:

Me: Hey, don't I know you from someplace?
Her: Penn State. The Hub.
Me: So, are you in town for the Miami game?

She looks to a guy taking bags off the carousel...

Her: No, I am going on a cruise. On my honeymoon.

She looks again at the guy taking bags off the carousel.....

Her (softly): You had your chance.


If someone would have cut my arm off right there, it would not have hurt as much.

I see Tony Sacca every now and then, and every time I do, I invariably think of the brown eyed girl that got away, on the weekend of the game where he got tired...
PSURO that gave me chills, woman scorned will rip your heart out.
I had befriended a group of girls who lived together. They were all cute but I set my eyes on the one I considered the "Queen". Trouble was she was dating a wrestler and I was making progress but hadn't got her to go out with me.

One quiet weekend one of the other girls "Amy" invites me over. We have the place to ourselves. We split a bottle of mad dog 20/20 but I had plutonic intentions since I wanted the Queen. So i manage to say nothing (too) stupid. At the end of the night I go to leave, she says stay. I say ok. She strips naked and crawls in bed. I being Noble go to sleep on the floor. Next morning she's a little cool but I'm feeling good. After this act of strength and purity I thought id have an improved my chance with the queen, right? I leave.

Sunday night the queen calls me...to tell me "Amy" is flattered that I want to date her but she just wants to be friends...argh!! Not good enough for a little bee you never get the queen!

A friend much better with women than I was, said, You country boys always want to pick the shiny apple on top the tree. You got to pick the apples on the lower branches to get to the top. He called it the "p*"sy tree".

Let that be a lesson and warning to you young bucks out there. Lol
 
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I used to belong to a hunting (beer drinking) camp. Most nights while in camp were spent in the local bar. We became friends with many of the local bar flies. One particular woman who had grown up there and moved to Pittsburgh became a good friend. At different times she was married or dating someone, but hung out when she came back home around Thanksgiving and other times when there were a lot of people in town. At one point I had a shot at one of her girlfriends, but I wouldn't mess around with someone who had a boyfriend. She was always the one girl up there in the mountains that I had a thing for. There wasn't much to choose from up there, but she really was stunning. She was fun, kept herself looking great, and had this twinkle in her eyes that is hard to resist.

So, eventually, she is single... I am single... we are both in town at the same time... we spend Friday night drinking the night away and close the bar. In the parking lot and there is an awkward not wanting to say goodnight that lasted for what felt like forever. Finally, I blurt out "I want you bad"! I must have taken this from some porno movie I had seen, because it certainly wasn't a creative pick up line. She responds, however, with "are you OK to get back to your camp". I say, "yeah, I'm fine to drive". She then says "are you sure you are OK to drive"? I again tell her that I'm fully capable. For the third time... she asks whether it was necessary for her to drive back to my cabin. Finally, her message penetrates my thick skull, and I say that yes, it would be good if she drove me back. Duh!!!

We actually dated for about 9 months, but it wasn't meant to be. She did break my heart when she ended it, but looking back it was my fault. I think that I subliminally considered her more of a rent than a buy, and she needed more.
 
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PSURO that gave me chills, woman scorned will rip your heart out.
I had befriended a group of girls who lived together. They were all cute but I set my eyes on the one I considered the "Queen". Trouble was she was dating a wrestler and I was making progress but hadn't got her to go out with me.

One quiet weekend one of the other girls "Amy" invites me over. We have the place to ourselves. We split a bottle of mad dog 20/20 but I had plutonic intentions since I wanted the Queen. So i manage to say nothing (too) stupid. At the end of the night I go to leave, she says stay. I say ok. She strips naked and crawls in bed. I being Noble go to sleep on the floor. Next morning she's a little cool but I'm feeling good. After this act of strength and purity I thought id have an improved my chance with the queen, right? I leave.

Sunday night the queen calls me...to tell me "Amy" is flattered that I want to date her but she just wants to be friends...argh!! Not good enough for a little bee you never get the queen!

A friend much better with women than I was, said, You country boys always want to pick the shiny apple on top the tree. You got to pick the apples on the lower branches to get to the top. He called it the "p*"sy tree".

Let that be a lesson and warning to you young bucks out there. Lol

Yeah, I've heard that if you see a group of women, you should approach one of the less attractive ones. The hot one may get jealous and it will leave your options open for any of them in the hierarchy. I was playing pool with some girls up in a mountain bar, one hot and one not so hot. The hot one is flirting, but playing hard to get. I figure that my odds are better with the lesser of the two, and I end up hooking up with the number 2. A few weeks later I see the hot one at the same bar and she comes up and whispers in my ear "you could have had me"... So, this is the converse of your lesson. Don't sell yourself short when you are the only game in town!
 
Yeah, I've heard that if you see a group of women, you should approach one of the less attractive ones. The hot one may get jealous and it will leave your options open for any of them in the hierarchy. I was playing pool with some girls up in a mountain bar, one hot and one not so hot. The hot one is flirting, but playing hard to get. I figure that my odds are better with the lesser of the two, and I end up hooking up with the number 2. A few weeks later I see the hot one at the same bar and she comes up and whispers in my ear "you could have had me"... So, this is the converse of your lesson. Don't sell yourself short when you are the only game in town!
Reminds me of a former coworkers 3 rules of engagement
1. Go ugly early, you can always upgrade later
2. If you can't upgrade, drink til she's cute.
Three is too vulgar to type on a family message board
 
Yeah, I've heard that if you see a group of women, you should approach one of the less attractive ones. The hot one may get jealous and it will leave your options open for any of them in the hierarchy. I was playing pool with some girls up in a mountain bar, one hot and one not so hot. The hot one is flirting, but playing hard to get. I figure that my odds are better with the lesser of the two, and I end up hooking up with the number 2. A few weeks later I see the hot one at the same bar and she comes up and whispers in my ear "you could have had me"... So, this is the converse of your lesson. Don't sell yourself short when you are the only game in town!
Women make things too complicated. I got to the point where I thought my strategy through and picked the one that made the least sense...to a dude. That worked the most.
 
Did I ever tell you guys the story about how I was on a weekend long bus trip from Harrisburg PA to Greek Peak NY for skiing? I was with two older couples and an older single guy (I'm 25 and they are 40 to 50). There were four au pairs who were literally sharing the room directly across the hall from my hotel room. Anyway, I never asked one of them to dance, never got up and sat with them at their table, never knocked on their hotel room door with bottles of champagne and baby oil, never even sat beside or chatted them up on the bus. Did I tell you that one of them actually pinched my butt while in line for a drink? Myself and the four of them were the only single, under 30 people there on the trip and I couldn't work up the courage to speak to one of them... not that I have visions of taking them all to bed and becoming some kind of folk hero for my exploits, but the least I could have done was struck out swinging!

When I got back home, this ate at me to the point where I couldn't stand it anymore. I called the county parks dept. that organized the trip and made up a story about loaning one of them a hat. My god, I can only imagine what would happen to a civil servant that did this today, but the woman actually gave me one of their phone numbers. I kept that phone number neatly folded in my wallet, waiting for me to summon the courage to call... never happened though.

Then, about a year later, I see a couple of them in a club/bar in Hershey (Spanky's). After buying as many drinks as I can afford, I manage to approach them through the mob of male suitors and mumble something about skiing or Ithaca NY, but either they don't remember me or aren't interested. I choose to believe the latter, which validates my never speaking to them in the first place. It's what allows me to sleep at night.

When i was a senior in HS, my buddies and I decided to head to Hershey for the state title football games. Long story short, we ended up drinking too much and ended up stopping into spanky's. I decided to head to the hotel and get the room situation figured out. About an hour later I get a call from the state police. Turns out my buddies got into a fight, with each other lol. The cops showed up and they attemped to run. All 3 of them ended up in jail.... Hilarious
 
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PSURO that gave me chills, woman scorned will rip your heart out.]

A friend much better with women than I was, said, You country boys always want to pick the shiny apple on top the tree. You got to pick the apples on the lower branches to get to the top. He called it the "p*"sy tree".

Let that be a lesson and warning to you young bucks out there. Lol

I had a friend of mine tell me a similar story. I asked him why he had so much better luck than I picking up women. His response "When the two of us walk into a bar, the first thing we do is exactly the same. We scan the place looking for any women that we might like. Then we mentally rank them all. But that's when things get different. You start at the top and give it your best effort moving down as you fail. I start at the bottom, quickly move up the ranks until I find one that is acceptable, then go hit on her."

I laughed my ass off because he was dead on right.
 
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads:

Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00

He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender.

"Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks.

"Yes," she purrs. "I am."

"Well, wash your frickin' hands," says the man. "I want a cheese sandwich!"
I see you're from Fleetville. This sounds exactly like the North 40.
 
Once upon a time, I had the opportunity to mess around with a married woman. On a Friday night, we hooked up and messed around (3rd base) in my hotel room but she didn't spend the nite. The next day, I had to be up at 4am for work but I had a 3-hour gap in the morning that we could meet up again for breakfast. So I was able to escape work and met up with her for breakfast. Since she drove to the restaurant, she drove me back to the hotel. I had about 90 minutes before I had to go back to work and rather than see it as an opportunity for some more fun time, I saw it as an opportunity to get a quick nap before going back to work for another 7+ hours. It felt a bit awkward in the car as we said our goodbyes because she was kinda eager to follow me inside and I shot it down. So instead of leaning in for a hug or a peck on the cheek, I inexplicably give her a pat on the back. We still talk to this day and every once in a while, she reminds me of my foolishness.
 
...not a date but...

So, my junior year, I used to see this beautiful brown eyed brunette in the HUB every Tuesday and Thursday. We would make eye contact, smile, and I never got up enough nerve to ask her out, or even talk to her. After a while I am pretty sure she was annoyed I never even made any move.

I would see her around campus a few times, but again - I did not get up enough confidence to say hello.

Lost track of her (assume she graduated and moved on)....all I knew about her was that she was from the Philly area (MontCo, I think).

Anyway, fast forward a few years, and I am flying to from Philly to Miami for the PSU-Miami game (the one where Tony Sacca got tired).....I get off the plane and head downstairs to baggage, where a friend of mine is picking me up. I go down the escalators and there she is....looking just as good as she did in my junior year....she sees me, and I see her, and by this time, I am a little more confident of myself....so I walk up to her:

Me: Hey, don't I know you from someplace?
Her: Penn State. The Hub.
Me: So, are you in town for the Miami game?

She looks to a guy taking bags off the carousel...

Her: No, I am going on a cruise. On my honeymoon.

She looks again at the guy taking bags off the carousel.....

Her (softly): You had your chance.


If someone would have cut my arm off right there, it would not have hurt as much.

I see Tony Sacca every now and then, and every time I do, I invariably think of the brown eyed girl that got away, on the weekend of the game where he got tired...

The only women whose absence pains you are the ones you never got to know.
 
I had a friend of mine tell me a similar story. I asked him why he had so much better luck than I picking up women. His response "When the two of us walk into a bar, the first thing we do is exactly the same. We scan the place looking for any women that we might like. Then we mentally rank them all. But that's when things get different. You start at the top and give it your best effort moving down as you fail. I start at the bottom, quickly move up the ranks until I find one that is acceptable, then go hit on her."

I laughed my ass off because he was dead on right.
My best "move" was to find a gal that was being hit on and was NOT enjoying it. I'd go up to her and pretend that I knew her and give her a light hug. As I hugged her, I'd tell her to play along to get rid of the guy. I'd turn to the guy and tell him that she and I know each-other. As he skunks away, I'd tell the gal that I saw she was uncomfortable and wanted to help out. 9 times out of ten, she'd come over and talk to me within the next ten minutes.
 
My best "move" was to find a gal that was being hit on and was NOT enjoying it. I'd go up to her and pretend that I knew her and give her a light hug. As I hugged her, I'd tell her to play along to get rid of the guy. I'd turn to the guy and tell him that she and I know each-other. As he skunks away, I'd tell the gal that I saw she was uncomfortable and wanted to help out. 9 times out of ten, she'd come over and talk to me within the next ten minutes.
That must go over well when you are out with the wife. :rolleyes:
 
Right around the time of the release of The Crying Game, I met a young lady at a party and we found ourselves wandering off to enjoy some private conversation. Conversation evolved (& evolved again), and for a but fleeting moment my hand wandered south of the border.
Her: "Leaving so soon?"
Me: "Just making sure."
 
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