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OT: Stupid things you have said on dates.

Me: Would you like to go out on Saturday?

Her: No sure I can - it's a busy week for me.

Me: Check your calendar and see if you can squeeze me in.

Her:

Hey, she married me anyway (several years later). If nothing else, I guess this proves that I am not AustinNitt.
 
A buddy told me to go ask a girl to dance, this would've been a date....and

While dancing, she stepped back and slapped me across the face.

Went to where my buddy was sitting and he asked what happened that I would get slapped in the face.

Said to him, I simply told the young lady she sweats the least of any fat woman I have ever danced with.

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The girl sitting who I flirted with in Algebra class asked me if I wanted to go to the Sorority Ball and I responded "with you?" Fortunately she was too startled to retract the invitation before it was too late.
 
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Originally posted by LionJim:
For some reason the Wayback Machine kicked on, and I recalled this conversation:

Me: "What have you been up to?"
She: "I worked for the NFL for a couple of years."
Me: "Oh, the National Federation of Labor?"
She: "No, the National Football League."
as many of you know, I am a huge movie buff

so at some point at PSU I took a date to see . . . The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover

I begged for forgiveness and a second date, saying it was a great film but NOT a date movie

I assured her the next film was a classic, must see film:

A Clockwork Orange

LOL

yeah no third date with her . . .
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Me: "So and So is a jackass. I can't stand the guy."

Her (quietly): "He's my cousin."

Me (In response to a comment another woman made about a television critic): "Television criticism is just mental masturbation. How can you write anything valuable about a medium which is so useless?"

Her (she interrupted me before I really got wound up): "That's what I do. I'm a television critic."

I have put my foot in my mouth so many times over the years my feet are wrinkled. I have "dishpan" feet.
 
Originally posted by psuro:

Me. I missed you while I was out of the country.
Her: I slept with a married man while you were gone and now I am pregnant.
Me.: So....we are splitting the check then?
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Good one psuro.
 
Damn. ***


Originally posted by demlion:
Me: "So and So is a jackass. I can't stand the guy."

Her (quietly): "He's my cousin."

Me (In response to a comment another woman made about a television critic): "Television criticism is just mental masturbation. How can you write anything valuable about a medium which is so useless?"

Her (she interrupted me before I really got wound up): "That's what I do. I'm a television critic."

I have put my foot in my mouth so many times over the years my feet are wrinkled. I have "dishpan" feet.
 
Her: About 20 minutes into our first date, she informed me that her father started having sex with her when she was six years old and didn't stop until she started menstruating at age thirteen.
Me: So you've had a lot of practice at sex. You must be very good at it by now.
Her: Yeah, I am. I was pretty lucky.

I discovered later that night that she was pretty good at it. There was no second date.
 
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Originally posted by 91Joe95:

Me: Want to go to the strip club after dinner?

Her: Sure.


Actually, that wasn't so stupid.
Ha
Girl in college I went out with a few times actually asked me to go to the Endzone on the under 21 nights they have. So she seemed like a winner and I said "YES!" but in hindsight I think she went a little farther that way maybe.

My worst was with a girl I still think was the best looking girl I ever went on a date with and at the time I think had seen maybe. I was struggling with what to talk about so instead since I knew she liked the Phillies I just went on a Phillies talking spree for way too long. It was ugly. EDIT: I know just how ugly because from time to time some of my friends still like to say "how bout' them Phillies?!". Kind of funny now but whoops. She thought it was funny too apparently enough to share it enough to make it last. Deserved that though.



This post was edited on 3/15 2:46 AM by PSUriseANDfire
 
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Wasn't exactly on a date, but worth retelling.

In seventh grade, out on the school playground roughly an hour before school ends and the school dance (my first such event) begins:

LB: Hey Susie, are you gonna be at the dance?.
(Feel something land on my shoulder. Turns out to be bird crap.)

Susie (Eyes bulging): Uh, sure. You're really lucky, huh?

LB: Isn't it obvious?.
 
Wasn't exactly on a date, but worth retelling.

In seventh grade, out on the school playground roughly an hour before school ends and the school dance (my first such event) begins:

LB: Hey Susie, are you gonna be at the dance?.
(Feel something land on my shoulder. Turns out to be bird crap.)

Susie (Eyes bulging): Uh, sure. You're really lucky, huh?

LB: Isn't it obvious?.


So is that an Eagle joke? :rolleyes:
 
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I was in Atlanta and went out with a girl who said she had just graduated from Miami. I went on a long monologue about visiting Miami for the Orange Bowl, etc. After about 10 minutes she said she just graduated from Miami of Ohio.
 
When I was in the Army, stationed in GA, i was celebrating a promotion and my birthday. It was payday and two for one Long Island iced tea night. I stumbled up to a table full of girls at a local bar/dance club and asked one of them to dance. When she said no, I replied “I guess a blowjob is out of the question then”...

I believe that I may have stolen or paraphrased that from a movie, but can’t remember which one.
 
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When I was in the Army, stationed in GA, i was celebrating a promotion and my birthday. It was payday and two for one Long Island iced tea night. I stumbled up to a table full of girls at a local bar/dance club and asked one of them to dance. When she said no, I replied “I guess a blowjob is out of the question then”...

I believe that I may have stolen or paraphrased that from a movie, but can’t remember which one.
Smooth.
 
I was dating (in a long distance situation) a woman who had a very healthy sex drive. I found that doing plenty of “up front work” paid greater dividends later. So, there was generally lots of “making out” and talking about what was hopefully going to happen, before it happened. Honestly, I consider myself worldly, but she was at another level. I struggled to keep up with her in our pillow talk. At one point, I told her that I was going to lock her in a closet. Not make love to her in a closet... just lock her in the closet. I can’t recall whether I was able to save the romantic mood that night or not, but it certainly didn’t turn her on.
 
Not quite on a date, but closely related enough to tell the story. I had a couple of dates with a gal who was a world class gymnast at PSU back in the day when the gym team packed Rec Hall for matches. Her final appearance at a PSU meet happened to be on the back end of a Saturday Rec Hall doubleheader (wrestling in the afternoon, gymnastics at night). Following the wrestling, a few of us wandered across the street to the Post House. I proceeded to spend several hours there, only managing to make it to Rec Hall just in time to catch her on her final event. When the meet ended, bunches of people poured out of the stands surrounding and congratulating her. Because of the crowd, I couldn't get anywhere near her. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a friend of mine, who was a writer for one of the local papers, talking to a guy. I staggered over to him in a bit of a drunken stupor, interrupted him by exclaiming "End of an era. End of an era at PSU". He gave me this confused look and I simply added "Judy Gymnast (name changed to protect the innocent)! Nicest ass on campus!" He responded "Larry, I'd like you to meet Mr Gymnast, Judy's father". I sputtered a couple of words, realized I was just continuing to make a huge fool of myself, turned my back and walked away. Never went out with her again.
 
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When I was in the Army, stationed in GA, i was celebrating a promotion and my birthday. It was payday and two for one Long Island iced tea night. I stumbled up to a table full of girls at a local bar/dance club and asked one of them to dance. When she said no, I replied “I guess a blowjob is out of the question then”...

I believe that I may have stolen or paraphrased that from a movie, but can’t remember which one.
Cisco's!!!
 
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