OT: Not sure how to say this, but....

[CF LION]

I know I've been an a$$hole on occasion to some of you on this board the last year or so. So first off, my apologies to anyone who was a target of my anger. I'm coming up on 6 months since the passing of my wife and I must say that I've gone through periods of bitterness, anger and sadness but I've found a lot of relief visiting this board nearly every day. I want to thank you all for the wit, humor and intelligence that is so very evident. Your posts have really made me think, laugh and smile on an almost daily basis.

Just felt that I really needed to post this tonight. I'm in a pretty good place now...you all have helped me get here.

Thanks

CF

 

[21Guns]

My heart goes out to you. I'll keep you first and foremost in my thoughts.

 

[massimoManca II]

I know I've been an a$$hole on occasion to some of you on this board the last year or so. So first off, my apologies to anyone who was a target of my anger. I'm coming up on 6 months since the passing of my wife and I must say that I've gone through periods of bitterness, anger and sadness but I've found a lot of relief visiting this board nearly every day. I want to thank you all for the wit, humor and intelligence that is so very evident. Your posts have really made me think, laugh and smile on an almost daily basis.

Just felt that I really needed to post this tonight. I'm in a pretty good place now...you all have helped me get here.

Thanks

CF

I remember reading about what you'd been through and wondering how I would fare under those circumstances... i was pretty moved by that post... i think about it every time i see your avatar, prolly not helpful to you but your avatar reminds me - every time i see it - to kiss my wife and remember to not be a prick to her... maybe it will help you to know that your wife's image makes someone you've never met a better person (i hope!)... i wish you and your family well, CF

 

[The Spin Meister]

Going through such trauma does strange things to the psyche. Takes time to heal. Glad you found solace here but I must say that sometimes this site drives me bonkers!

 

[Nittany Ziggy]

Dude - Please accept my deepest condolences regarding your loss. I have always been confused over your avtar wondering if it was you (and you were female) or if it was your significant other. That is a very nice pic!

The humor on this board is great and I can see how it may be therapeutic. It is too bad that we are still hashing out the Sandusky matter. Prior to that debacle, this place was a "true" respite and filled with belly laugh material almost nightly. It is nice to hear that that aspect of this forum hasn't disappeared entirely.
God bless!

 

[marshall23]

God Bless you and your children. Today for me is 7 years and 4 months. If I can offer advice, I would say don't be too hard on yourself. When you lose the love of your life, you also lose your sense of self. I still sometimes feel like I'm a stranger to myself. The things that once held so much importance and enthusiasm are now often meaningless. The only times I feel like my old self and have purpose is when I can share time with our sons (now adults). Then everything seems almost familiar. I even sleep thru the night.
People don't understand and think that after time you should move on and heal. Grief is unique to each person, has its own characteristics and determines its pace. This will sound really bizarre, but sometimes I think I welcome the sorrow that keeps us (my wife and I) connected. If I let go of this, what do I have left? Sorry for going on. I hope you find peace and you and your children can forge a "new normal."

 

[nits74]

I know I've been an a$$hole on occasion to some of you on this board the last year or so. So first off, my apologies to anyone who was a target of my anger. I'm coming up on 6 months since the passing of my wife and I must say that I've gone through periods of bitterness, anger and sadness but I've found a lot of relief visiting this board nearly every day. I want to thank you all for the wit, humor and intelligence that is so very evident. Your posts have really made me think, laugh and smile on an almost daily basis.

Just felt that I really needed to post this tonight. I'm in a pretty good place now...you all have helped me get here.

Thanks

CF

We should be thanking you, CF. You have an eloquent way of putting life in its proper perspective. Stay strong and continue to carry on. And Marshall, you are in my thoughts as well.

 

[CF LION]

God Bless you and your children. Today for me is 7 years and 4 months. If I can offer advice, I would say don't be too hard on yourself. When you lose the love of your life, you also lose your sense of self. I still sometimes feel like I'm a stranger to myself. The things that once held so much importance and enthusiasm are now often meaningless. The only times I feel like my old self and have purpose is when I can share time with our sons (now adults). Then everything seems almost familiar. I even sleep thru the night.
People don't understand and think that after time you should move on and heal. Grief is unique to each person, has its own characteristics and determines its pace. This will sound really bizarre, but sometimes I think I welcome the sorrow that keeps us (my wife and I) connected. If I let go of this, what do I have left? Sorry for going on. I hope you find peace and you and your children can forge a "new normal."

Yes, sometimes I find myself walking around in a sort of out of body experience. It's really hard to describe, but I'm sure you know what Im talking about. This week was rough. Headstone came in from the quarry and its tine to design the engraving...came home the other day to find my son laying in bed in tears...missing his mom. I do not suffer any fools, that I can tell you.

 

[MrDibbs]

CFLION

You are one of the sane ones on this site and I value your input.

While I have been blessed with a wonderful wife, I know that she doesn't hear that from me nearly enough. I am fortunate that she is healthy and I don't see that tragedy on my horizon - but circumstances change and we are fragile.

I have experienced the loss of both parents and a younger brother and younger sister. In each instance the grief was different, but always real.

I hate to be preachy, just felt that I had to post because I know that you miss her.

 

[mrtailgate]

Your wife is smiling down on you and yours, she will always be with you. You're a good man!

 

[Victor E. Bell]

Man, I never read anything from you that would indicate you were an A-hole to anybody. All things in moderation...that includes beating yourself up.

Much respect, mate.

 

[fairgambit]

I know I've been an a$$hole on occasion to some of you on this board the last year or so. So first off, my apologies to anyone who was a target of my anger. I'm coming up on 6 months since the passing of my wife and I must say that I've gone through periods of bitterness, anger and sadness but I've found a lot of relief visiting this board nearly every day. I want to thank you all for the wit, humor and intelligence that is so very evident. Your posts have really made me think, laugh and smile on an almost daily basis.

Just felt that I really needed to post this tonight. I'm in a pretty good place now...you all have helped me get here.

Thanks

CF

You're a class act CF. We know you married a special lady but she did pretty well for herself too. God bless you and your family.

 

[Peetz Pool Boy]

Yes, sometimes I find myself walking around in a sort of out of body experience. It's really hard to describe, but I'm sure you know what Im talking about. This week was rough. Headstone came in from the quarry and its tine to design the engraving...came home the other day to find my son laying in bed in tears...missing his mom. I do not suffer any fools, that I can tell you.

It's all part if the grieving/healing process and, from a distance, I think you're doing rather well.

I understand your son's tears...be sure to involve all of your children in the decision of what to engrave on the headstone.

It will be be a highly-emotional decision, but also a very important part of the family healing and closure process.

That's all I can offer.

 

[CF LION]

CFLION

You are one of the sane ones on this site and I value your input.

While I have been blessed with a wonderful wife, I know that she doesn't hear that from me nearly enough. I am fortunate that she is healthy and I don't see that tragedy on my horizon - but circumstances change and we are fragile.

I have experienced the loss of both parents and a younger brother and younger sister. In each instance the grief was different, but always real.

I hate to be preachy, just felt that I had to post because I know that you miss her.

It's not just telling your wife that you love her, you must show her true affection. Hug your wife, draw her in, hold her tight. You know what I miss the most? I am starting to forget how she smelled, how soft her skin was....how feminine she was and how that made me feel when I held her tight. Don't ever neglect to show her that you adore how beautiful she is.

 

[CF LION]

Man, I never read anything from you that would indicate you were an A-hole to anybody. All things in moderation...that includes beating yourself up.

Much respect, mate.

Perhaps not often, but I can recall a time or two that I got a bit outspoken in defending Pittsburgh in the semi-regular Pittsburgh v Philadelphia debates (even though I've lived in SE PA for 30 years and love it here).

 

[anon_1eeb2b426hv3y]

I know I've been an a$$hole on occasion to some of you on this board the last year or so. So first off, my apologies to anyone who was a target of my anger. I'm coming up on 6 months since the passing of my wife and I must say that I've gone through periods of bitterness, anger and sadness but I've found a lot of relief visiting this board nearly every day. I want to thank you all for the wit, humor and intelligence that is so very evident. Your posts have really made me think, laugh and smile on an almost daily basis.

Just felt that I really needed to post this tonight. I'm in a pretty good place now...you all have helped me get here.

Thanks

CF

So sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain you endured. Glad to know you're finding yourself in a better place. Keep on keeping on.

 

[LafayetteBear]

Good post, CF. Sorry for your loss. I never knew, and never thought you were out of line with your posts. But if you ever feel the urge, I suggest you mosey over to the Test Board and simply let everyone have it!

 

[nits74]

Good post, CF. Sorry for your loss. I never knew, and never thought you were out of line with your posts. But if you ever feel the urge, I suggest you mosey over to the Test Board and simply let everyone have it!

I moseyed on over there once following the election. What a crew that is. Never again.

 

[Nashville Lion]

Please accept my condolences and a prayer. I can't imagine what you are going through. Glad to see you on the board. Take care!

 

[91Joe95]

I know I've been an a$$hole on occasion to some of you on this board the last year or so. So first off, my apologies to anyone who was a target of my anger. I'm coming up on 6 months since the passing of my wife and I must say that I've gone through periods of bitterness, anger and sadness but I've found a lot of relief visiting this board nearly every day. I want to thank you all for the wit, humor and intelligence that is so very evident. Your posts have really made me think, laugh and smile on an almost daily basis.

Just felt that I really needed to post this tonight. I'm in a pretty good place now...you all have helped me get here.

Thanks

CF

Jokes aside, your posts have always been moving and a reminder to tell people they are appreciated. As a poster above stated, in your own way, you've made us a little better. Thanks.

 

[Zenophile]

I'm in a pretty good place now...you all have helped me get here.

I'm genuinely moved to hear this news. I've often wondered how you were doing but respected your privacy. Thank you for posting this.

 

[palehorse]

CF, I believe deeply that one should pay attention to the people who have experienced the highest of highs and lowest of lows. When those people speak, their words carry more with me. When a combat veteran talks about performing under pressure, I listen. When a man who has loved deeply and lost the love of his life speaks, the words do not fall on deaf ears. So, when you remind us to love our wives better, please trust that some of us are truly paying attention. Thank you for the perspective and may god bless you and your family.

 

[Psychedelic_MackDaddy]

I know I've been an a$$hole on occasion to some of you on this board the last year or so. So first off, my apologies to anyone who was a target of my anger. I'm coming up on 6 months since the passing of my wife and I must say that I've gone through periods of bitterness, anger and sadness but I've found a lot of relief visiting this board nearly every day. I want to thank you all for the wit, humor and intelligence that is so very evident. Your posts have really made me think, laugh and smile on an almost daily basis.

Just felt that I really needed to post this tonight. I'm in a pretty good place now...you all have helped me get here.

Thanks

CF

Nobody is a bigger assh0le than me on this board. Look on the bright side, compared to me, you're like Mr Roger's.

Sorry for your loss.

 

[Marylovesthelions]

My condolences. When you hold the hand of your love as they pass into eternity it tears your soul. That first night is the most dreadful of your life. It was five years ago for me. I keep busy, caring for others, Alzheimer's Disease patients. I discovered that giving of myself to serve others helped fill that hole in my heart. Once it was filled, it was easier to heal. Grief is very personal so I do not presume to make suggestions. I write to inform you of what has worked wonderfully for me. God bless you richly and your family.

 

[baircub1!]

I know I've been an a$$hole on occasion to some of you on this board the last year or so. So first off, my apologies to anyone who was a target of my anger. I'm coming up on 6 months since the passing of my wife and I must say that I've gone through periods of bitterness, anger and sadness but I've found a lot of relief visiting this board nearly every day. I want to thank you all for the wit, humor and intelligence that is so very evident. Your posts have really made me think, laugh and smile on an almost daily basis.

Just felt that I really needed to post this tonight. I'm in a pretty good place now...you all have helped me get here.

Thanks

CF

God bless.