Dealing With Difficult Parents in Sports

[slushhead]

A real article this time, accessed originally from InterMat: LINK

I'm not sure anything can prepare a coach for PD2, but the article was a good read. It might even have application for dealing with difficult internet posters.

 

[Cowbell Man]

PSU has had it's share of difficult parents, and I've had to deal with plenty of them.

What generally gets me though.....is the $3,000 trip. Since most parents have driven the need for specialization in athletics so their kid might earn a scholarship.....which most likely they won't, it continues to amaze me how much is spent. The dollars and time invested don't remotely equate to the scholarship earned in the unlikely event there is a scholarship.

Let them all play 2-3 sports and move on. And play in the band. Everyone would be happier for it.

 

[CropDuster507]

I'm still young and hard-headed. I deal with most parents the same way:
"What do you do for a living, may I ask?"
(Parent Answer)
"How would you like if someone came to your job and told you how to do it?"
(Usually mumbles or murmurs)
"That's what I thought. I know what I'm doing. Let me do my job."

 

[a_mshaffer]

I always give them the 'perspective' speech. That parents ruin sports and all you should do is support them. I remind them that their opportunity is gone and they should enjoy themselves wherever they go as the kids are having their own fun. There isn't a correlation between pre- and post-puberty success. And, by the way.... your kids will start to notice the other sex during that post-puberty era... good luck with that! Wrote a paper on the subject... what kills kids sports? #1 parents; #2 coaches without perspective. Unsaid is the $$ as more and more year round 'clubs' open that provide little time for other sports.
Keep in mind... I've never heard a professional athlete say a kid should only do one sport.

 

[RoarLions1]

I'm still young and hard-headed. I deal with most parents the same way:
"What do you do for a living, may I ask?"
(Parent Answer)
"How would you like if someone came to your job and told you how to do it?"
(Usually mumbles or murmurs)
"That's what I thought. I know what I'm doing. Let me do my job."

Doesn't always work out that well though, does it? Without knowing what all you've coached...in the heat of battle, when emotions are high, especially with those adults with anger management issues, unreasonable and violent behavior happens too often in our society. All I'm saying, as a long-time coach/umpire/referee in a variety of sports, crop's simplified approach, may not be effective.

 

[jrd23psu]

I'm still young and hard-headed. I deal with most parents the same way:
"What do you do for a living, may I ask?"
(Parent Answer)
"How would you like if someone came to your job and told you how to do it?"
(Usually mumbles or murmurs)
"That's what I thought. I know what I'm doing. Let me do my job."

What do you do for a living, may I ask?

I yell at my kid's coaches.

CHECK MATE.

 

[nitlion6]

Have coached little league baseball and softball, mid level softball, elementary wrestling and high school wrestling. Every single one as a volunteer. So my livelihood never was dependent upon my behavior.
A parent wanted to tell me how to do something (every level except HS wrestling, not my program) they were given 2 choices. Be an assistant coach, participate and have a say or I did not want to hear it.
At any level, if someone wants to scream at me, fine. Most of my life I have been able to scream louder. Do not scream at kids.
My way will not work for everybody, but it worked for me.

 

[ecdcr]

I appreciate all my kid's coaches, they're volunteers and good people. But they're human and not always right. We've had name/stat mixups for all-star game eligibility, wrestling 58 vs 70+ lbs (not fair - I'm not going to post a pic but you'd prolly get a good laugh)

 

[purescurve]

I was umping a LL Ball game once. As a grounder was hit to the shortstop a yellow jacket landed on my neck. It stung me exactly when he was throwing to first. I wasn't totally sure of the right call to make since I was distracted.

 

[dunkej01]

I was umping a LL Ball game once. As a grounder was hit to the shortstop a yellow jacket landed on my neck. It stung me exactly when he was throwing to first. I wasn't totally sure of the right call to make since I was distracted.

so what call did you make?

 

[Dogwelder]

I was umping a LL Ball game once. As a grounder was hit to the shortstop a yellow jacket landed on my neck. It stung me exactly when he was throwing to first. I wasn't totally sure of the right call to make since I was distracted.

The yellow jacket was Loki in disguise. Are you a metalsmith, by chance?

 

[purescurve]

I asked the 1st baseman and the hitter if he made it or was out. Both said yes. I ended up flipping a coin.

 

[Lyons212]

Have coached little league baseball and softball, mid level softball, elementary wrestling and high school wrestling. Every single one as a volunteer. So my livelihood never was dependent upon my behavior.
A parent wanted to tell me how to do something (every level except HS wrestling, not my program) they were given 2 choices. Be an assistant coach, participate and have a say or I did not want to hear it.
At any level, if someone wants to scream at me, fine. Most of my life I have been able to scream louder. Do not scream at kids.
My way will not work for everybody, but it worked for me.

Asking the parent to volunteer usually shuts them up. Too many parents do not realize that the coach is a volunteer, sometimes only doing it because somebody has to do it.

I ran the local rec soccer league. Had a Mom call me to complain about Mr Smith for her daughter's coach. Mr Smith was only doing it because somebody had to do it, honestly it showed, he was not mean but his heart was not in it. I told the Mom, "Mr Smith is only coaching because no one else volunteered to coach the team, including yourself." Shut her down very quickly.

I told one parent, if I hear you yelling from the sideline your child immediately comes out of the game. Shut him right up too.

 

[RoarLions1]

I was umping a LL Ball game once. As a grounder was hit to the shortstop a yellow jacket landed on my neck. It stung me exactly when he was throwing to first. I wasn't totally sure of the right call to make since I was distracted.

I don't understand. Why would a yellow jacket (see below) landing on you cause a missed call?

 

[86PSUPaul]

Maybe it covered his eyes?

 

[El-Jefe]

I don't understand. Why would a yellow jacket (see below) landing on you cause a missed call?

Is that the Witvoet model?

 

[Rhino80]

I find coaching wrestling much easier than other sports. I've had a few exceptions over the years but for the most part it's been extremely positive. Most of my problems have been with assistant coaches being too hard on thier own son's. Perspective is a good way to put it and a a little coaching of the coaches usually cleared it up.

 

[NoVa Lion]

I helped coach (my Dad was the head coach) an age group Track & Field and Cross Country girls and boys team for many years when I was younger and I don't remember any problems, but then all of the coaches were volunteers and parents. It probably helped that every kid got to participate because of the nature of the events.