"42 years ago I heard the song BABY ITS COLD OUTSIDE. I was traumatized.
Throughout my adolescence and young adulthood, I underwent severe PTSD - and the thought of spending a night outside of my own home brought on a paralyzing fear.
It caused me to drop out of Boy Scouts, and to pass up both personal and professional opportunities. Actions that have resulted in severe monetary and personal damages.
I was unable to step forward prior to today due to the severe emotional stress involved - but today, with the help and guidance of my team of counselors, and my attorney Mr Michael Avenatti, I am pleased to announce that I am strong enough to move forward with my $750,000,000 Civil Suit against the following:
- The Frank Loessner Estate
- Sirius Radio
- Bloomberg
- Bill Gates (Does he still have a lot of money?)
- CBS
- Donald Trump
- Whoever the guy is who won the last PowerBall
- The estate of Robert E Lee
- Brett Kavanugh
- My Parents
I "hope and pray" that the actions I am taking today will make me filthy rich...… er, uh, I mean.... will bring some peace and closure to the many thousands of innocent victims of this depraved and unholy act of terrorism.
You forgot some major snowflake triggers: