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Big News Revealed?

slushhead

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Mar 10, 2014
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Tenure of Penn State’s Sanderson in Doubt

UC2NBEE365F73C7GVA6NLNT2ZA.JPG


December 11, 2021

University Park, PA – Penn State wrestling fans were dealt extremely discouraging news Friday night when word broke that head coach Cael Sanderson, the mastermind behind the program’s decade-long dynasty in the sport, may be parting ways with the University. According to sources close to the team, Sanderson has shown signs of growing dissatisfaction over the past 9 months, and he abruptly ceased attending practices and meetings this week. Sanderson is universally considered one of the most successful people in the history of the sport, compiling a flawless 159-0 record as a collegiate wrestler and leading the Penn State Nittany Lions to 8 of the last 10 team championships as a coach. A departure from the program would not only have a devastating impact on Penn State going forward but would also have major implications for the entire NCAA Division I Wrestling landscape as a whole.

What caused Sanderson to disengage this week in particular is not clear, but avid fans of the team have documented a number of concerns since the national championship tournament last March. For example, during that tournament, one of Penn State’s wrestlers did not perform to fans’ expectations, and they noticed an uncharacteristic look of extreme displeasure on Sanderson’s face. To put it simply, they said he "looked pissed".

Over the summer, there was rumor that former University of Wisconsin standout Evan Wick was attempting to transfer to Penn State, and fans observed that Sanderson made it known to university faculty that Wick was “the missing piece” to a team championship in 2022. To Sanderson’s (and fans’) great disappointment, the academic department did not consider that an essential criterion for admission, and they denied the transfer. Again, Sanderson was "pissed".

With that effort thwarted, Sanderson was rumored to turn to free-agent and former national champion wrestler Nick Suriano, who was looking to return to the sport (and to the Nittany Lions, specifically) to realize a substantial payout under terms of the new “Name, Image, and Likeness” (NIL) rules adopted by the NCAA. Apparently, however, University policies and Pennsylvania state law in general leave Penn State coaches at a competitive disadvantage among their peers, and Suriano instead signed with the University of Michigan.

Fans also claim to have documented a strong discontent with COVID-19 vaccination policies, though no such documentation has been shared with the Press.

A team staff member, speaking on condition of anonymity, confirmed that Sanderson has indeed been disgruntled lately. Though unwilling to provide specific details or address the validity of fans’ claims, the staff member did note, “Cael is wicked pissed.”

One of the Nittany Lion wrestlers, also speaking on condition of anonymity, implied that Sanderson is fixated on the recent past. “Normally, he talks to us about preparing for opportunities, feeling gratitude, maximizing the moment, and having fun. But this year, he just seems really pissed. Something is bothering him, and he can’t seem to focus on The Process.”

Consistent with someone who is pissed, Sanderson is not returning calls or accepting interview requests. His only comment on the matter came via text message late Friday night: “Not done for the season at this point.”

While Sanderson contemplates his future, the wrestling world will be watching with bated breath, and Penn State wrestling fans will undoubtedly be glued to the message boards in anticipation of Big News. Hopefully, they do not end up pissed.
 
This is great @slushhead. I trust and hope, peeps have a sense of humor.

I would also like a writer for the collegian to read this and ask cael about it at a future press conference. That would be the ultimate!

Collegian Reporter: Coach, I read a report that your pissed. Could you drill down on that a little for us?

Cael: ......

Pat D: ok folks thats enough for today.

Collegian Reporter Article: Following questions from this Reporter, Coach Cael appears to be indeed pissed.
 
This is great @slushhead. I trust and hope, peeps have a sense of humor.

I would also like a writer for the collegian to read this and ask cael about it at a future press conference. That would be the ultimate!

Collegian Reporter: Coach, I read a report that your pissed. Could you drill down on that a little for us?

Cael: ......

Pat D: ok folks thats enough for today.

Collegian Reporter Article: Following questions from this Reporter, Coach Cael appears to be indeed pissed.
Ha — one trepidation I did have about writing this one was that Coach might get pissed at me. 😉

But I do believe he has a sense of humor, and if he ever is privy to our nonsense on here, he’d get this one.
 
This Slush gave me heart palpitations. Due to the seriousness and risk to my psychological well being, I'm including a list of acceptable and non-life threatening topics for you to discuss. Acceptable topics would include Iowa wrestling, Ohio State, Rutgers, three inch binders, cruise liners, robes, Aruba or Austin Desanto.

Specifically, topics that are off limits in the future include any coach whose first names start with the letter C, David Taylor and dodge ball. Thank you.
 
Cael's neighbor in the past said Cael liked to work on his Christmas cards late at night mid December when practice is over and the the kids are in bed. The neighbor, also a late nighter said he saw Cael take his bundle of cards and put them in the mail box around midnight last night. As the neighbor was going to bed he noticed Cael went back out to the mailbox around 1:15 am and took out one, only one of the Christmas cards back out of the mailbox and put it in the trash.

Asked what expressions Cael had on his face and he said contrary to popular belief Cael in private smiles constantly from the first day of competition to typically the third Sunday in March.

Asked if he looked pissed as he went to the trash can, the neighbor said no, Cael never gets that way, especially this time of year.
 
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Anonymity?!?

If you cant state your sources, how are we supposed to believe this nonsense? We might as well be gitting info from Minny-O.
 
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Ha — one trepidation I did have about writing this one was that Coach might get pissed at me. 😉

But I do believe he has a sense of humor, and if he ever is privy to our nonsense on here, he’d get this one.
I do think something should be added to the article that lets people outside of this message board’s regulars know that this is a spoof. Some “outsider” might pick up on this and put it out there for more public consumption and cause issues. Just a thought.
 
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All kidding, and recent football coach hiring news aside, this "article" makes me think that whatever Cael wants or needs as a coach he should get, no questions asked. Plus, his salary should be negotiable every year, so he remains the highest paid wrestling coach in the country. The man is the best and hopefully no one screws this up for years and years to come.
 
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As awful as this all may seem, do NOT let it distract you from the the fact that in 1966, Al Bundy scored four touchdowns in a single game while playing for the Polk High School Panthers in the city championship game vs Andrew Johnson High School. This included the game-winning touchdown in the final seconds against his old nemesis, Bubba "Spare Tire" Dixon.
 
I do think something should be added to the article that lets people outside of this message board’s regulars know that this is a spoof. Some “outsider” might pick up on this and put it out there for more public consumption and cause issues. Just a thought.

Unfortunately someone at HR or Flo will read this and take it way, way too seriously.

I usually use the hashtag feature in Rivals to tag these “thisisnotreal” at the top . . . but forgot this time to do so before clicking Post Thread. Apparently, the platform doesn’t allow you to do so after the initial post is made. 🤷‍♂️

Regardless, the stories tend to get pretty absurd by the 2nd or 3rd paragraph, which should be a dead giveaway to the reader. If not, oh well. That can be fun, too:

The same article was posted on a new jersey wrestling forum the other day. I don’t think it’s fake.” — This was a classic.
 
I usually use the hashtag feature in Rivals to tag these “thisisnotreal” at the top . . . but forgot this time to do so before clicking Post Thread. Apparently, the platform doesn’t allow you to do so after the initial post is made. 🤷‍♂️

Regardless, the stories tend to get pretty absurd by the 2nd or 3rd paragraph, which should be a dead giveaway to the reader. If not, oh well. That can be fun, too:

The same article was posted on a new jersey wrestling forum the other day. I don’t think it’s fake.” — This was a classic.
I think you fooled someone over on the new BWI. Lol

 
I think you fooled someone over on the new BWI. Lol

LOL. Does satire of satire cancel out the satire, and make it all true?
 
Tenure of Penn State’s Sanderson in Doubt

UC2NBEE365F73C7GVA6NLNT2ZA.JPG


December 11, 2021

University Park, PA – Penn State wrestling fans were dealt extremely discouraging news Friday night when word broke that head coach Cael Sanderson, the mastermind behind the program’s decade-long dynasty in the sport, may be parting ways with the University. According to sources close to the team, Sanderson has shown signs of growing dissatisfaction over the past 9 months, and he abruptly ceased attending practices and meetings this week. Sanderson is universally considered one of the most successful people in the history of the sport, compiling a flawless 159-0 record as a collegiate wrestler and leading the Penn State Nittany Lions to 8 of the last 10 team championships as a coach. A departure from the program would not only have a devastating impact on Penn State going forward but would also have major implications for the entire NCAA Division I Wrestling landscape as a whole.

What caused Sanderson to disengage this week in particular is not clear, but avid fans of the team have documented a number of concerns since the national championship tournament last March. For example, during that tournament, one of Penn State’s wrestlers did not perform to fans’ expectations, and they noticed an uncharacteristic look of extreme displeasure on Sanderson’s face. To put it simply, they said he "looked pissed".

Over the summer, there was rumor that former University of Wisconsin standout Evan Wick was attempting to transfer to Penn State, and fans observed that Sanderson made it known to university faculty that Wick was “the missing piece” to a team championship in 2022. To Sanderson’s (and fans’) great disappointment, the academic department did not consider that an essential criterion for admission, and they denied the transfer. Again, Sanderson was "pissed".

With that effort thwarted, Sanderson was rumored to turn to free-agent and former national champion wrestler Nick Suriano, who was looking to return to the sport (and to the Nittany Lions, specifically) to realize a substantial payout under terms of the new “Name, Image, and Likeness” (NIL) rules adopted by the NCAA. Apparently, however, University policies and Pennsylvania state law in general leave Penn State coaches at a competitive disadvantage among their peers, and Suriano instead signed with the University of Michigan.

Fans also claim to have documented a strong discontent with COVID-19 vaccination policies, though no such documentation has been shared with the Press.

A team staff member, speaking on condition of anonymity, confirmed that Sanderson has indeed been disgruntled lately. Though unwilling to provide specific details or address the validity of fans’ claims, the staff member did note, “Cael is wicked pissed.”

One of the Nittany Lion wrestlers, also speaking on condition of anonymity, implied that Sanderson is fixated on the recent past. “Normally, he talks to us about preparing for opportunities, feeling gratitude, maximizing the moment, and having fun. But this year, he just seems really pissed. Something is bothering him, and he can’t seem to focus on The Process.”

Consistent with someone who is pissed, Sanderson is not returning calls or accepting interview requests. His only comment on the matter came via text message late Friday night: “Not done for the season at this point.”

While Sanderson contemplates his future, the wrestling world will be watching with bated breath, and Penn State wrestling fans will undoubtedly be glued to the message boards in anticipation of Big News. Hopefully, they do not end up pissed.
My inside sources tell me that Cael is "pissed all 'y'all" for being passed over as Franklin's DC. The source overheard Cael muttering, "Diaz? When did Diaz ever teach one of his linebackers the bow and arrow?"
 
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